Bleeding Sacrifice
by H-Relics98
Summary: Beast boy is learning to deal with the beast within,even after 2 years! Will he let the titans help or will his fear of Robin finding out his secrect keep him from doing so? Yaoi RobXBB, Mature Audiences, adult themes. Sequel now started!
1. Chapter 1 Burning Flesh

Hello! This is going to be a yaoi fic! don't like don't read please! Anyway, I completely adore Beast boy, he is my absolute favorite character in Teen Titans. Please Review if you liked the story! I love feed-back, it makes my life glow with the sun!

Enjoy!

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Sometimes, I can feel him. I can feel him twisting and turning, begging me to come out. But I'll never let him. I can't, not ever. But lately…the burning pain he gives me, it's breaking me. I'm losing control. Late at night when the moon shines eerie light into my room, I feel him stir and growl. It's been so long since he's been set free, at least a year…maybe two. I try not to remember when he first burst free from his cage. The memories come to haut me, taunting, laughing, and killing me in my dreams. Every night I wake in a cold sweat, wishing for this all to go away.

That night, when, well what ever he is, came forth, they looked at me like I was a monster. That I was an animal that would never be equal to them. I can sometimes still feel the force that Robin had when he shoved me down in that chair and locked me up. He stared at me through his white blinding mask, growling and blazing with anger. On the outside I was angry and confused to why this was happening, on the inside I was shaking and trembling and scared.

I hated the way he growled, they way he hated me. I hated that the others just stood there and agreed with him. What had I done? I didn't know…they wouldn't tell me. They couldn't see through my mask of confusion, they couldn't see my fear. He yelled and yelled forever at me and I couldn't stop the trembling that over took my body. Eventually though, he just stopped and stared at me, glaring.

It wasn't until the next night that I changed into that _thing_ again. But before that, sometime in the early morning. Robin came in and released me, only to drag me somewhere else. I can see so clearly the dark room he threw me in. He locked me up to the wall, held down by chains. I screamed at him, not understanding. I cried, I screamed with such fierce. And I didn't stop, not until he hit me. It stung with such unbearably pain. It left a mark that no one would ever see…no one but me. He told me that when I could remember what happened he would let me out. And then he left; he left me in the dark, in the cold, left me to be broken.

That night I didn't sleep, I couldn't, the chains held tight so that I couldn't move, I was to be punished, to stay in one spot all night. In the morning, he came back and dragged me back into the medical room. I saw Raven then, floating in sleep. I was so scared; I didn't know what happened to her! I was worried and I wanted to know. Robin, in an angry fiery, growled that I did that to her. He screamed and screamed, telling me that I had to remember, that I was just lying and hiding the truth. His words hurt me so bad, and usually I would have started to tear up, but I felt anger building instead and I suddenly didn't remember anything anymore.

The next time I came around everything was better. They no longer were mad, no longer treated me like a villain. It didn't matter though, what Robin had done, what he said, it hurt to no end. It dug into my heart and burned my soul. He never even said he was sorry, that he was wrong. But of course not, Robin…you never would admit that you were wrong? At least not to me, I know you wouldn't. There are so many things you would never say to me, but to others, to someone better. Was I really that below you? Did you really see me in such a harsh way? Robin, do you really hate me?

_Of course he does…_

I growled at myself. Grabbing my ears forcefully and giving myself a sharp tug as I close my eyes. Stop thinking about the past. What's done is done.

_Monster…_

No! I wasn't…I wasn't a monster! No…I'm not. And I started to whisper those words to myself, over and over again. But deep inside, he stirred and laughed, growling to me that I was lying to myself. That I was hiding from the truth…just like Robin said. A sharp knock made me pull my ears to hard and I yelped loudly, falling hard onto the floor from my slipper sheets.

"Beast boy! I wish for you to come out and cook friend!"

It was Starfire. It was always Starfire. I found myself growling, why did Robin have to fall for her? Don't get me wrong, she's great, a perfect girl even, but that's what made it hurt even worse. Next to me, Starfire was a goddess, someone Robin would always chose over. She made me so jealous, and I hated that. I hated that it brought the darkness out, because Starfire didn't deserve this insane jealously of mine.

"Sure!" I called back, standing up with shaky legs.

Food sounded good, I hadn't been eating as much lately. I could feel my bones sharp against my skin; I wondered if anyone else noticed? But thinking about them, if they cared, it only hurt more. Whenever something was wrong, they never tried to help me, they always tried to hurt me. Always made me feel like it was my fault, like I had hurt myself on purpose. Especially Robin. Maybe that's another reason why my jealously flared so easily. Because no matter what, no one would want to try and help me, no one would want to hold me gentle and tell me that it was ok, that it wasn't my fault.

It was always annoyance or anger that was directed toward me and sometimes I wonder why I'm really even a titan. They could easily tell me to get out and replace me with someone stronger, someone better. As I walked down the hall with Starfire, my head started to hurt. I had to stop thinking about this; I just had to let it go.

"Beast boy!"

"Oh, sorry dude, what?" my checks reddened with embarrassment. Way to go, don't listen to her, just another way to get yourself yelled at.

_Worthless…_

No…leave me alone. Not now, just go away; leave me alone to bath in my own fantasy.

"Robin wishes for pancakes this rise of a new day! Do you wish to do the flipping of pancakes?"

God, she's so weird. Its kind of funny, not actually funny like ow, my gut, oh I'm dieing, kind of laugh, the kind of laugh that I'm faking right now. No it was more of a, you're cute, but sort of stupid, sort of chuckle. But everyone expects me to be loud and laugh and never be serious. Usually, I'm not ever serious, but today, my darkness hangs over me for eternity.

"Uh, sure Starfire," and as we turn the corner, Raven pops out of her room. She's already glaring at me, ready to yell for all she's worth.

"Oh! Raven! Did you have a good night of sleep?"

"Yes," great, she's already turning on me. I guess she's in a bad mood today. And so am I, but I have to fake I; if I don't want them to know, I have too. Her red stare burns into me and I try to ignore it, but it hurts, it's burning my heart, like Robin's harsh words do. And I suddenly want to be anywhere but here. I want to leave, to get away, before _he_ starts to taunt me.

As the three of us enter sleepily into the main room, Cyborg's deep cheer greets our ears. And Robins disappointed growl echoes around the room. It looks like he lost again, never able to beat Cyborg's high score, but always willing to try. He always loses, every morning. And he sits there, for three seconds and pouts. He pouts with all his strength, chewing on his lower lip, his eyes frowned down in disappointment and anger behind his mask. His muscles tense, his shoulders shrugged. And suddenly it's all over and he's up and asking how our night was. If we slept well…actually, if Starfire and Raven slept well, he doesn't really ever ask me those things. He just looks at me and greets with a dull "morning". Everyday, every painful, heart aching, dark filled day.

_You'll never have him…_

And my heart stubbles forward, I even hurt myself now. Shaking my head to myself I smile back at Robin as he greets us and I run to the table. I bounce on the balls of my heels, waiting hungrily for food to be placed in front of me, to be devoured, to become my victim. Oh, interesting, I'm evil today too. It isn't long before I have my food, but it's after I help Starfire like I said I would.

However, as I begin to eat, I smell the cooking of flesh. The burning of meat. I freeze and I swallow my bite slowly, trying not to throw up. Robin and Cyborg are chuckling together as they stand by the stove, cooking bacon. My blood runs cold, it burns, the smell. It travels through my entire body, cutting at me like a knife. It hurts, the smell of rotting flesh, the thick black smell of the blood boiling, of the fat sizzling. Bacon, it was always bacon. I could always stand being around cooking meat, everything but bacon. It rattled me to the core, to my very soul! Why? I have no freaking idea.

"Uh, Beast boy?" Raven asks, but she sounds so far off, so far away. Her voice barely reaches me, her monotone voice quiet and dead. All I can think about is the cooking meat. The pain in my heart. Some where off far away, I hear Starfire's high yell,

"Oh no! Robin, Cyborg!"

"What?" they both asked, somewhat annoyed at being interrupted so suddenly and fiercely. And just like that, they're eyes widen and Raven voices what they realize.

"The bacon," everything is still so foggy and watery.

But it doesn't matter, because in a blur my legs take me away from here. Take me up, higher and higher until I burst out into the fresh air. I couldn't be inside; the vents would have brought the smell throughout the tower. I probably won't be able to sleep in my room tonight, but I wouldn't let them know that. Robin would get mad at me for sleeping up on the roof. Robin would say that I could catch a cold and give it to everyone else, not caring if I had gotten sick.

It takes all my will power not to lean over the railing and throw up. So instead I put my legs through the lower bar and sit on the cold metal, my legs dangling over the edge. I breathe deep, smelling the salty air. It would go away soon, it would. I just have to stay calm and breathe evenly. As I let my body return to itself, I let my mind wander. Would Robin apologize when I go back in?

_No…_

Cyborg would, and that would count as Robin's apology as well, with a stiff nod.

_It's still an apology…sort of…_

_Wrong, he doesn't care… _

_Maybe…just a little? _

_No…worthless. In his way… _

_…_

I growl, I hate talking to myself. And a chuckle bubbles its way up my throat, yeah, ok it's sort of amusing too. My smile fades quickly though; lately I haven't been very nice to myself. I close my eyes and take another deep breath. I'm so off…I can feel it in my bones, and it's not long before the others find out either. Sometimes, I want them to find out, I want to know if they really care. Ok…maybe I'm making some things up a bit. Raven's been better, ever since Trigon was defeated last year, she's different and yet not. And Cyborg cares, I'm his buddy. We do everything, goof off, play video games, and have food fights. And Starfire, she likes everyone, well almost everyone. She's nice, she likes everyone to be happy, and she cares for everyone. But in a way, that…it…argh. It doesn't count I guess, though it does.

_That doesn't make sense… _

No, it doesn't, but it does. I growl again and rest my head against the high, cool, bar, trying to freeze my brain so I stop confusing myself.

But Robin…I don't know about Robin. Sometimes, he's so kind and it seems like I'm the only person in the world he worries about, and then other times he hates me so passionately…at least that's what it feels like. And deep down, I know that he's just trying to help me, that he wants to protect me, but…it doesn't stop the hurt. Either way, Robin is so, well perfect.

I sigh and kick the air, if I could just stop thinking for one minute, then I could calm myself down. But I just…I can't. My body is shaking horribly and it's getting worse. I think part of it is from the lack of food and the rush to get up here, but the other part. Is something dark, my thoughts of self-loathing.

"Argh…dude, I'm so pathetic,"

_Yes you are…_

Go away! He won't leave me alone, he's trying to get me angry, so I'll let him out. It's not going to work though. I won't ever let him out again. At least, not _him_. I can morph into his body, his look, but I never actually let him out. Not the beast within. He's been close to my surface for a week now, because my nightmares are sending me into a frenzy.

"Beast boy?" I jump at the sudden voice. I didn't expect someone to come up here.

I glance back and my eyes meet Robin's forum. I knew it was him from his voice, but I just wanted to make sure. I frown; I just noticed that he's in his sleepwear. It's kind of odd, seeing him out of uniform. But, he looks so…hot. Just standing there, letting the wind tousle it's way through his un-gelled hair, his black t-shirt blowing around his muscles, and loose black sweatpants hanging around his hips.

As he gets closer, I bite my lip. He smells like bacon. No, just when I was starting to get myself under control. He steps closer again and I don't think I can bare it if he gets any closer.

"Stop!" I hear him give a startled gasp and his foot slides back on the rough floor of the roof. "Please, just go away,"

"Beast boy, I-" he sounds guilty and…mad? How can he be mad? I didn't do anything.

"You smell like it, just…go away," I whisper quietly, turning my head away from the direction he is standing in. "please…" and maybe, he'll leave because I make my voice sound so broken, and it is…really.

"I…" I hear him shift his feet a little, "sorry…" and he leaves. I sigh as the burning flesh is gone again, but my body is trembling again. It'll be awhile before I can go back in.

_"Sorry…"_

I smile…he apologized.

_He doesn't mean it…_

I growl at the monster inside as he has a singsong tone.

_Shut up, yes he does…_

…

Silence, maybe I just have to be more positive and believe in myself more often. Maybe then _he_ would go away. I glance up form looking at my lap and my eyes meet dark clouds ahead of me. I watch as lightning attacks the oceans surface and I smile. Thunderstorms, I love them. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad…I mean, after all, Robin did apologize.

I smile brightly, telling the storm in front of me and inside of me to bring it the hell on.

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Review? Please? With cherries and cookies and M&M's ontop?

Note: I do not own Teen titans...thoughI wishI did...


	2. Chapter 2 Painful Sound

Hello! Wow! That was a fast update...hehe. Well anyway, this chapter is goign to seem a little hash, major angst in this one! But don't worry, there will be some Robin and Beast boy lovin soon! I promise!

Enjoy!

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GAME OVER

"Dude!"

GAME OVER

"Boo-yah!"

Well this sucks…

_No you suck…_

Oh…god that just gave me a really dirty thought.

…

haha, guess the beast can't take perverted-ness either.

"Yes! I told you you'd lose!" Cyborg leans down right in my face and grins widely at me. How I know that is beyond me, he's so close I could kiss him…but I won't…cause…argh…no.

"Rematch!" I demand, and I actually feel up to it this time. It's been a long time since I've felt up to doing anything really. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't do it. But today, I'm not faking…I'm in a really good mood! Actually, come to think of it, it's been a good week. We haven't been getting a lot of crimes calling in. And the ones that we have, I've been kicking ass, I must say. Even Robin had this proud sort of smile on his face last fight.

And just like that, Cyborg and I are at it again. Control in our hands, hunched forward, staring intensely at the screen before us. Yelling every time one of us gets ahead of the other. Whining when something blows us up or cheering when something blows the other person up. It feels great to get my adrenaline going. Nothing like a good round of verses can get it up and running high.

Of course, nothing fun is long lasting…

GAME OVER

"What! Already! DUDE!"

"Aww yeah! Who's the man!"

I really, really, really want to throw my control at his head.

WAMPH

Oh shit…I can't believe I just did that.

"BEAST BOY!"

OH SHIT! And I'm up and running. I jump over the couch gracefully, only my landing isn't. But that doesn't keep me down for long. I'm out the door as fast as I can possibly run. I think my adrenaline is faster then any game I ever play. And my fear of getting pumbled turns into a laugh of danger. I can't believe I've been moping around for so long, I've missed this.

As I run down the hallway of the tower, I can't help but letting a bubbly laugh escape every now and then. Though, as soon as I feel my leg being pulled out form behind me, I stop the bubbly laughing. Now laughing nervously as I look into Cyborg's face I smile,

"H-hey Cy, fancy seeing you here,"

Cyborg smiled evilly, ok so maybe I didn't miss this as much as I thought.

"Yeah, fancy huh?" and he lifts me over his metal shoulder and stalks down the hallway, back to the main room. I know he's just playing as I hear a chuckle escape him and I smirk, I love to play a long. I start hitting his back lightly, just incase he's not really kidding around.

"Help!" I scream, hardly able to keep my laughter in. As we pass the lighting shadows pass over us every couple of second and every light we pass I scream at it like it could save me. I can't wait till Cyborg passes our rooms, and then that's when the fun begins.

As we round the corner I can see Raven's door insight, oh goody, she's always the best to annoy. I start yelling as soon as we're in earshot from inside her room. Cyborg smirks and makes a small humph,

"Oh so you wanna play tough do ya BB?"

I just chuckle at him, my excitement to great as we near Raven's door even more. I haven't felt this happy in so long. I feel like I'm going to explode. It's roaring, tickling inside of me. It's waiting to get out, wanting, needing to be set free. And I as sure hell am not going to stop it from getting what it wants.

As soon as we pass the far border of her doorway, I latch on and Cyborg starts pulling, but no way in hell am I letting my grip up.

"Raven! Help me!" I scream, and if she can't hear me then she's freaking deaf. Apparently though, she is, so I scream extra loud, just for her.

"RAVEN! OH GOD! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS EVIL AND HOLY!"

And suddenly, her door slides open and Raven stands in front of me, breathing deeply, eyes glowing. I can feel her anger, I can smell it, but somehow it's not frightening to me at all, not today. It's swirling through her, around her, inside her. Oh, I really did it this time. She was probably engrossed in some 'wonderful' book that was one of her favorites and I had just interrupted her.

"Beast boy," she breathes slowly, gritting her teeth. And I let go as I see her magic swirling around her tightly closed fists. Cyborg, obviously knowing what is going on, took off at full speed, wanting to get the hell away from Raven's wrath as much as I did. And I, for one, am very thankful that Cyborg didn't just drop me and left me to die. And suddenly, it seems that I want Cyborg to save me instead of Raven.

"Faster! Run faster!"

"Man, I'm running as fast as I can!"

And its' not fast enough; Raven is closing in on us, her cape flowing wildly behind her.

"Dude! She's catching up!" I squeak. Oh my god, this is so much fun.

And my laughter bubbles up from me and I can't contain it anymore. I burst out laughing, loud and long. Cyborg thinks I'm crazy though, apparently, he really doesn't think pissing Raven off is fun.

_You are crazy…_

Aw, how nice, I'm more insane then the monster that lives inside.

We're close to Starfire's room now and, well I have no idea why, but perhaps she could save us from Raven. As we zoom past, I reach out to the pasted door, hoping that Starfire will be my savior. Oh, excuse me, _OUR _savior.Cyborg sometimes isn't the big strong manly man he says he is. Anyway, back to what I was saying, oh yeah. I reached out and hoped to god that Starfire would emerge from her pink covered room.

"STAREFIRE!" and then that was it, we rounded the corner, but not before I saw a flash of purple step out of the opening door.

"Beast boy?" and then Raven rounded the corner and a terrified scream echoed throughout the tower. Opps…guess Starfire isn't able to save us.

"Why! Why Raven friend of mine! Why are you so angry!" Starfire shouts, flying after us and away from Raven. It was such a rush, just the kind that I needed to get away from all the stress that had been happening from before. I do feel bad though; poor Robin must be going insane. He has no idea what the hell is going on and with all the screaming as well. Actually…I don't think he's even up yet, it's not that late and crime has been quiet, so Robin has been taking the luxury of sleeping in lately.

And I guess I'm going to find just how freaked out Robin is, because as we reach the entrance way to the main room, Robin steps around the corner and

BALM!

Robin, Cyborg and I crumble to the ground in a heap. And before Robin can get up and yell, Starfire shrieks at the pile that is blocking the hallway and tries to stop, really, I'm sure she tried her best, but never the less, runs straight into us. I grown as more weight is added to us. And there's still Raven, who I'm sure will be able to stop, since she probably sensed the freaking collide way back at her room.

And sure enough, Raven stops before us and spots me, anger still blazing. I let out a squeak and wriggle around, trying to get out from under the bodies that lay on top of us. Cyborg looks up and sees Raven, and he pales.

"Now now Raven, come on, it's all just a bit of fun, don't do anything you might-"

But Raven cuts him off with a blast of black energy. All four of us are lifted into the air and thrown against the wall, our bodies tingling with the magic of Raven's power. Once I get over the shock, I laugh, loudly, again. I sigh of relief on the inside as Cyborg and Starfire both laugh as well. At least I'm not the only one who enjoyed…well, what ever the hell it was.

But, as I said before, everything fun is never long lasted.

My laughter dies in my throat as I spot Robin crawling out from under us, anger blazing in his face. Oh shit and I feel myself recoil into my body. I can feel whom he's going to yell at, three guess guys.

Yep…me.

I start to shake even before he opens his mouth and Cyborg feels it, for his laughter stops as well and he glances down at me, confused. Starfire has already seen the anger in Robin and scrambles off of us quickly, standing next to Raven, who has clamed down to her normal unfeeling mask. I slid off Cyborg with no weight trapping me and I hit the floor with a loud thud.

And the explosion comes, full of anger and hate.

"What the hell! Do you have any idea how loud you are!"

Well shit, looks like we woke him up…or rather me as Cyborg stands up and Robin turns his gaze to me.

Cyborg can see the waterfall of anger coming my way and steps in front of me as I stay still on the floor.

"Hey, Robin, man. Sorry, guess we got out of control for a bit there,"

However, Cyborg's try for sticking up for me doesn't even reach Robin.

"BEST BOY!"

I cringed and the beast within laughed at me.

_Hates you…_

He mocked me, he tormented me. I shivered, but not because of Robin, I could dimly hear him screaming at me and Cyborg and Starfire trying to get him to stop. Somewhere close behind me, I felt Raven, but it seemed like she was far off, actually, it seemed like everyone was. I could see Robin screaming at me; his fists tight, and I could see Cyborg's leg in the corner of my eye and Starfire yelling at Robin on his right.

But all I could do was listen to the _thing_ that lay inside me, he laughed and spit, and mocked.

_He hates you…_

_No… _

_Worthless… _

_N-no… _

_He'll never love you… _

_I-I… _

_Worthless… _

_N-no! _

_Why don't you learn to listen to those older then you… _

And the flash of memories that I thought I had forgotten flashed in front of my eyes. Pain seemed to fill my body as I relived those memories. The beatings… the yelling…the scream…

**"_Worthless!" _**

_She's right… _

_N-no… _

And the sharp sting of someone slapping me brought me back and my eyes focused to see a chest heavy Robin glaring down at me, Cyborg and Starfire now both yelling at him, and Raven knelt down next to me, her cloak hiding me from…Robin?

"Are you listening to me!" Robin yelled and just like that, I was gone, back drifting in the past again.

_Listen Gar…_

_N-no… _

_Listen… _

_P-please… _

_**"Listen you worthless…" **_

_D-don't…_

I was drowning, losing myself in my past. If I wasn't careful, I might let him free. But I won't, I'll never, even when I'm lost I won't let him take control. But he's near, he's behind me, around me…inside of me, the beast is here.

_Worthless gar…_

_N-no…please…d-don't… _

_Always going to be worthless… _

_Stop… _

_He doesn't care… _

_Stop! _

_No one cares… _

_Be quiet… _

_She didn't care… _

_Be quiet… _

_No one does… _

_Shut up… _

_Worthless… _

_**"You worthless peace of shit!" **_

_Not ever loved… _

_N-no! _

_Never will be… _

_Shut up! _

_Never _

_SHUT UP… _

_Worthless… _

_**"Worthless…" **_

The words of the beast within and my memories of my past, of people that I thought had cared about me before doom control, before the titans, it was all getting louder, and I could feel tears streaming down my face. I could feel myself shaking. And in the distance, to add to it all, I could hear Robin yelling. I could hear Starfire and Cyborg yelling and I could hear Raven yelling. It all blended together with the darkness and the past…

"STOP IT ROBIN!"

_Worthless…_

"LISTEN TO ME BEAST BOY!"

**"_Worthless shit! Go die!" _**

"ROBIN STOP IT MAN!"

_**"You slut, come here…" **_

_Never loved… _

"STOP! STOP YELLING!"

_"You little bitch! No one will ever love you! Freak!"_

_Never will be… _

And a scream ripped through my throat, it pierced through all the screaming and yelling and fighting and memories…

"SHUT UP!"

And it all went black as silence finally settled over me.

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ok...well, there's more of a plot unfolding here then I thought...um...anyway, please review! Thanks for reading! Much love! 


	3. Chapter 3 Horrid Sleep

Hello! Thank you all for reading this far into the story...even though it really isn't that long...er...LOl! Well, anywayI don't own Teen Titans...sad, but so very true. Besides, if I did, well you all should know that Beast boy and Robin would be making out a long time ago...Heh heh...if I did...own Teen Titans...yeah ok...

Enjoy:)

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"STOP IT! STOP YELLING!"

Raven? Yelling? Who's yelling? It's cold. I'm chilled to the bone. My teeth are chattering so bad that they might break. My breath comes out in small white puffy clouds. Why is it so cold? Darkness…yeah…it's dark. Why is it so dark? Please…don't leave me alone…Raven? Hello? Please…it's never going to leave me alone. I'll never forget will I?

"Best boy…"

Raven?

Worthless… 

No…please, not now. Not when it's so cold and dark...and alone.

"Right here,"

Raven? Stop doing this! Stop talking to me and then not be here.

"**_Worthless shit,"_**

No…

My eye catches a light…someone's shadow too.Please, don't let the dark consume me. I can't let it take me. I-

Robin?

"Beast boy," Please, Robin, don't let it take me, " you piece of shit."

What?

A stinging pain, it burns, flowing inside. Robin…stop, please, stop it. Stop…stop touching me…Robin. I can't get free; he's holding me down, leaving me vulnerable. Please, Robin, I love you…

"Beast boy…"

Robin…

"Beast boy!"

I gasp, drinking in the air as I awake from the darkness of my mind. And I notice right away that I'm warm. I sit up slowly; I thought I heard a voice? But the rooms empty. Room… this isn't my room. I glance around and as I take in a breath, I smell him, Robin.

"Robin?"

"I'm right here,"

I jump, I didn't even see him. He comes close and sits down; taking the cloth that fell off my shoulders and wrapped it around me again. I blink at the dark blue cloak…Raven. I glance up at Robin, question in my eyes.

"Raven wanted you to stop shaking,"

I didn't say anything. I was sort of confused. I wasn't completely sure what had happened. But my jaw hurt like hell. I rubbed it lightly, wondering what happened. Robin made a small deep sound in his throat and he moved closer to me. I leaned back in surprise as he touched my face,

"Sorry," his voice was rough, like it pained him too look at me.

"M-me too," I whispered, all I remembered really was that we were being too loud and had woken him up. My face was heating up, he was sitting so close, and I was practically melting. He must have felt my blush for his hand dropped lower to rest on my neck. I could fell his eyes burning into me; I wish I could see his eyes. And not the mask that he hides behind. And I come so close to asking him to take off his mask, so very close, but the room suddenly lights up in red and the alarm goes off.

"Come on," and just like that, Robin was gone, hiding behind his mask even more, more then before. He didn't even get a chance to come out completely. He's always hiding. Stop hiding Robin, please stop hiding.

The rush of the cool night air is a shock to me, had I been asleep the whole day? For more then a day? I wasn't even sure what was going on, I had just woken up. It doesn't matter right now though. I had to concentrate on what was coming up. Morphing quickly into an eagle I flew amongst the dark sky, close to Starfire and Raven…who wasn't wearing her cloak. Her cloak that was back in Robin's room.

She looked at me and I moved my eyes to the streets that we were now over, watching as Cyborg and Robin drove fast in their vehicles. But no matter how hard I tried, she bore her gaze into my mind. And I'm such that if I were in my human forum I would blushing. However, I didn't have time to worry about if I was blushing or not as a blast brought are attention to the ground. Below the three of us, Robin was knocked off his motorcycle and my breath held while Starfire yelled out "Robin!"

But of course, he was fine; he was always fine wasn't he.

_Yes…_

I ignored the greedy sound of the beast and morphed into a cheetah the moment I hit the ground. Running around on the pavement, dodging blasts from someone or something I didn't know. I finally caught up to were Robin had fallen, only to find him fighting hand to hand with a cloaked figure in the smoke. Something seemed…familiar about the new villain, something…his scent. His scent was what was familiar, but…I don't, I can't remember.

Ahigh ringing flew through my ears though and I crutch down, my tail waving around behind me. The high pitch sound was driving me crazy, I couldn't tell where it was coming from and I choose to morph again, hearing Raven and Starfire fighting back behind me with Cyborg.

And then, I couldn't see, though I expected this, as seeing that I had changed to a bat. Ignoring the screech around me, I let out my own ear piercing sound and waited. I waited to hear the waves to come bouncing back to me. Buildings on either side, yes I knew that already. Robin fighting beside me, Raven and Starfire behind me, and Cyborg ahead of me. And then it hit what I was looking for. Someone I didn't know, female, and I changed back to my cheetah forum right away, racing toward Cyborg, hoping to get to him in time before she pounced.

As I got closer, the scent got stronger; the scent that ran shivers down my body, the scent that drove me wild with fear and pain at night. I had to know, could it be? I growled loudly at Cyborg, telling him to move the hell out of the way, and I jumped right through the window, breaking the glass, right for my prey.

Dressed in a long black cloak, she moved, but barely, I got her. She fell hard to the floor and I bared my teeth, saliva dripping from my jaws. I was right, I knew it, and yet I feared it. Below me, she smiled, her red-hair flaming, her red eyes laughing at me.

"Oh, Beast boy, what have you gone and become?"

I hated her voice; I hated it with a passion. So I dug my claws into her shoulder. And I smirked inside as she let out a painful cry. That cry though, it would bring him to her and to me. And I was right, not a minute later did a darkness that reeked of death surround her and me. I felt my strength leave me as needles and knifes cut against me. I was sure now, that it was them, the reason why I became a titan, the reason why my nightmares haunt me forever, the reason why the beast lies within me.

The deep laughter that I swore to never hear again in person surrounded me, consumed me and the beast within was getting what he wanted. He wanted to be let out, to be free. And I was losing control of him quickly. But somehow, I wanted him to come out, I wanted him to rip the two people I hate the most to pieces.

As I was flung away from her, I hit the wall, bloody and cut up. My strength gone, he sucked me dry. I growled at them, watching as he bent over her, tending to her wounds with my energy. My anger flared and I let it consume me.

_Yes…_

_Kill them… _

_That's it… _

_Hurt them… _

_Let me out… _

_Don't let them get away! _

_Stronger… _

_Tare them apart! _

_I will _

_Now! _

_I am! _

And the last thing I remember was the fear in their eyes, the same fear that they had pumped into me years ago.

_Don't hurt the titans…_

_I won't… _

_Promise… _

_Don't worry kid… _

"Thank you…"

And it went dark.

* * *

I dreamed, I know I did. But that didn't stop me form screaming. It didn't stop me from crying, from fearing. I dreamed for a long time and by the time I awoke from my slumber, my throat hurt. I was cold and my body ached. My throat was sore and tasted bloody. The soft dripping of, what I hoped was water, was the only sound around me. I couldn't move, I was drained; it hurt to blink…to think. But I had to, I had to get up, I had to get to the titans, to…to Robin. _Don't…_

And the beast was back inside me.

_Don't move…_

Why?

_I think I wore your body out too much…_

I chuckled, you think?

_I got them good…_

Are the dead?

_No…_

And I felt tears coming to my eyes.

_You can do the rest…_

Their gone…they fled?

_Yes…_

Why do I have to do the rest?

_Because you don't need me anymore…_

I never needed you in the first place.

_Liar…_

Why are you being nice?

_Because I am you, _

I don't understand.

_I know…_

Where are you going?

_To rest, don't worry, I won't be bothering you for some time…_

Promise?

_Yes…_

"Thank you…"

And as I slipped back into the darkness, I heard Robin call my name and I felt the beast slowly retreating to a place far in the back of my mind. A place inside me where I could no longer feel him. A place, where he could rest forever and never bother me again. Strange…I feel so very….

"Lonely…"

Without the beast.

* * *

I moaned and rolled over. It was strangely bright behind my eyelids. I felt touches on me; I heard voices whispering around me. The low murmur of Cyborg and the monotone of Raven. The titans…I was safe. I curled up into a ball and groaned again, why did I feel so empty? 

Because the beast is resting, forever.

Did I really need him? Do I miss him?

…

I got no answer. I'm confused…maybe I should just stop talking to myself.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea too BB,"

And my eyes were open in less then a second. I rolled over enough to glance over my shoulder and just barely see Cyborg. He smiled at me and patted my head.

"Good to see you're awake. You gave us a scare there for awhile,"

I gave him a questioning look.Though, it was Raven who answered my question.

"You were sleeping for two days."

"A coma?" I voiced, not really talking to them, but just wondering out loud,

"No, you drifted in and out a lot," Cyborg reassured me. I felt a light pinch in my arm and realized that Cyborg was taking out stitches.

"Yes, with a fever, it broke last night,"

And I noticed that she had her cloak back. I smiled at her and closed my eyes, wanting to go back to sleep. It seems though, that once you wake up, you can never sleep again in the tower, at least not when you are injured, everyone always wants to get food into you.

"You should eat, you haven't been eating very well for awhile now and no food for two days only makes things worse,"

I didn't completely get everything that Raven said, all I heard was food andhaven't eaten in awhile and I wanted to get to the kitchen.

I nodded and mumbled an all right. I still felt strange, it was different, not having the beast comment on everything that I thought or did. But, it was also a relief, something that I was finally free from. I realized, as Cyborg carried me down the dark, comforting hallways of the tower, that I was happier, without the beast. The beast was what made me feel so alone…it made me lie to myself.

Why? I wanted to hurt myself? No…I wanted to keep myself from being hurt. I understood now, when the beast told me in my own voice that was a snarl,

_Because I am you…_

The whole thing, I just didn't want to get hurt by others, so I hurt myself before they could. But now, I didn't have to hurt myself and I realized as well that I would be strangely vulnerable for a while without the beast to protect me from others.

But that was ok, because before the beast, I was hurt and I got through it. I think, that I would be all right without the beast.

We stopped outside the large doors to the main room and I blinked tiredly up at Cyborg, I had drifted off.

"Uh," was all he said as he glanced at Raven to explain to me something I didn't know. Raven sighed and came in front of Cyborg so she could look at me. I blinked at her stupidly and waited for her to say something. Was something wrong? Had something happened? I started to panic, did something happen to Robin? To Starfire…oh who I kidding, I was more worried about Robin.

"Beast boy…"

And that's all she said, I huffed, well this was annoying.

"Dude! Come on, it can't be that bad!" I whined; I really wanted to know what the hell was going on. Raven glanced up at Cyborg and a huffed louder this time.

"What!" I exclaimed.

And still she didn't say anything. Well ok, fine, if she wanted to play the guessing game then I could do that. Besides, I needed some fun; I lost two whole days of fun. Sighing exasperatedly, I glared at her, time for the first guess,

"Oh come on, I mean it's not like I told someone my undying love for them," there was no way in hell I was going to let it slip that I was in love with Robin. However, at the look on her face and the glance she gave Cyborg, my ears fell, oh no. I paled; oh I really hoped I hadn't told Robin.

"Uh, yeah, you kinda told Robin that…" came Cyborg's rumble and I stared right ahead of me. Oh my god, I…I…there are no words! Just…oh my god…and oh my god…

"Oh my god…"

I was so dead; Robin was going to kill me. Ok maybe not kill me, but come on, there's no way he's going to even like me now. Really, what would you do if you found out a guy had a crush on you…a GUY! Well ok, girls don't count on this one.

I let my head fall back onto Cyborg's metal arm and I let out a choked sound as tears formed in my eyes at the thought of what Robin might do… or say…or do. Maybe, I wouldn't be all right without the beast.

I wanted to be anywhere but here, I wanted to be in my room, where I was safe from everyone. I looked up at Cyborg with panic in my eyes, I wanted to leave, please take me back before someone opens the freaking doors.

But…it was too late. With a soft swish, the doors parted and Robin stood in front of us, surprised that we were all just standing out in the hallway. Starfire flew into the middle of the room to see what was going on, bowl and cooking spoon in her hands. She gave a soft 'oh' as she spotted us and she waved gently.

Oh please, let me die, please. Robin was staring right at me, I couldn't see his eyes. I didn't know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. I needed…I needed…fresh air. And before anyone could stop me, I morphed, knowing that it would affect my wounds. I morphed into the smallest thing possible that would get me the hell away from there fast.

And I heard Robin call after me as I rounded the corner, funny, how that has been happening a lot lately. As soon as I was far enough away from them, I changed back and let my tears fall. I needed to think. About what had happened two days ago, about…them and about Robin, about Starfire and about the titans. And as I burst through the door to the roof, I fell to my knees, tears streaming unbelievably fast down me face. This, this is what I needed; I needed to feel the cool air, to smell the salty water…I needed to clear my mind.

* * *

Is it just me, or am I making this story go by a little too fast? Sorry, I know the whole "them" is confusioning, but I'll clear it all up next chapter! I promise! Anyway, since this story is a Robx BB, I know you all know what Robin thinks about Beast Boy. So, read the next chapter and find out justhow well Robin took Beast boy's confession that he didn't even know he confesed! Ah...life sucks doesn't it? Thanks for reading and please, or pretty please review. :) 


	4. Chapter 4 Beast Boy's Secret

Hello! Well, it's chapter 4! I must say that this story is going a lot farther then my other ones...but I think that it's becasue I'm on a Teen Titans rush for the past week...heh. Oh well! RobinxBB fluffy ness! I'm really not kidding, it's major fluff. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

A week, that's how long I've locked myself up in my room. I only come out at night to go up on the roof and for missions. And only when they really need me. I don't talk to Robin; I don't even look at him. I can't stand too see the hate in his eyes. Tch, if I _could_ see his eyes.

My wounds healed only to be replaced by more wounds. It seems, that the beast inside of me most certainly did weaken _them_ but it was up to me to finish them. The only problem was, I'm still so terrified of them. How come? It's a long story…a really long story. But for now I'll let you know everything that needs to be known to understand…if that made sense.

It was a year after my parents died. A year I had been roaming around, lost and scared. It was on a winter night when they first found me. It had been snowing and I was sure that I would freeze to death that night. But they found me and took me in, kept me in a warm place. They treated me good…at least for a while…and then things started to go bad.

Ruby and Nicolas Smith. They were doctors, for some sort of secret government mutation thing. They took care of me, cared for me and I had found myself growing to love them. It was nice to have someone to care about you again. But it didn't last long, and I should have known that it wouldn't.

A year later, after they had gained my trust completely, they broke it. They woke me in the middle of the night and brought me to their lab. And they locked me up, said I wasn't human, I was a freak and it didn't matter what they did to me. And it was pain from then on out. It racked through my body, it tormented my mind. I don't know how long I was kept locked away, treated like some sort of animal…

I slowly started to become one. Inside of me, anger just kept building and building, but I was always to weak to unleash it. They caused me to create the evil monster, the beast that now lay to rest within. I never let them experiment on me though. I would change forums too fast until they just got frustrated and left me.

And when they left, it got worse, the other doctors tortured me, they abused me, hit me…they beat me until I couldn't breath. And when Ruby and Nicolas came back and found me that way, they beat even more. They told me that no one could ever love me; I was just a freak, an animal. And the pain grew too much until I lashed out one day, when they weren't there. I killed people…and I felt bad about it, even though they had done terrible things to me.

And I fled, ran away from that city, hoping that Ruby and Nicolas Smith would never find me, ever again. But they did…they found me again, and this time, a mutation was taken hold of them. I could smell it in their blood, see it in their eyes from 9 days ago. I just knew, that, some experiment had gone wrong and they had mutated themselves into…monsters.

I don't know why they are here, maybe to come and take revenge on me? I don't know. All I know is that those two people have haunted me my whole life. But I won't let them take this city away form me; I won't let them take my friends away. If I had beaten them near death as the monster I had created myself, then I could do it on my own, without the beast. And I won't rest until I do, even if it takes me an eternity to over come my fear off them.

I jump as my alarm clock goes off. It's midnight; I should head up to the roof before I get to tired. I stand up carefully; my new wounds aren't healing very fast. I know I shouldn't be outside by myself, especially at night, not with Ruby and Nicolas prowling around, but they don't attack us. They don't draw us out. It's only every once in awhile that we run into them. But, they're doing something big, I can feel it. Besides, with all those major items they have been stealing, there's no way they don't have a plan.

It's a clear sky tonight, and the stars shine bright for me. I love looking at the stars, it keeps me calm. It makes me feel like I'm safe no matter where I am. Sort of silly I guess, considering that when you look at the stars, you're not paying attention to what is around you and then you are therefore, vulnerable.

Well…I'm a little weird tonight. I sigh and lean against the railing, watching the dark waves rush up against the rocks below me. It's so…soothing, everything about the Titan tower is. I really feel at home here, and now that I'm looking on the brighter side of things, I've realized that the titans don't really hate me as much as I thought. Ok maybe hate is not the right word, but at least I know that they care now.

Well…I've always known they cared, somewhere, I just didn't let myself see it. I stare at the rocks for a long time and it gets me thinking, thinking about Terra. I miss her, a lot and I can't tell you how much it hurt that she betrayed me, us. But if she came back, asking for a friend again, I would take her up on that offer in no time. And I know that it's dangerous doing that because, when someone breaks your trust and then you give it to them again so easily, it lets them know that you're not smart. Well, not smart in whom you choose. It means you're an easy target and that's something I don't want to be.

But…I really would give anything to have her back again. I loved her, like a sister, she was my best friend. She was the only one that truly understood me at that time. She never looked at me weird because my skin is…green. She never made fun of my pointed ears or how much I acted like an animal. Don't get me wrong, I love who I am, most days. It's just sometimes; it's hard to believe that any human would ever consider dating someone like me. And Terra, she never thought about that. Whenever we went out to get pizza or just hang, she would also tell me whom she thought I would look good with. Always said that I was so cute and who ever I dated would be lucky. I still highly doubt that. I don't think anyone would be lucky to date me; I'm the one that would be lucky.

I stiffen at a noise behind me, it's close and I feel stupid for not smelling the person earlier. I hope to god it's not Robin, but knowing my luck it is. Well, lets see right? I close my eyes, already knowing that it will be Robin, it always is. And I breath in, I can smell the salty ocean, the crisp cool air of night and the scent of kiwi scented shampoo and Robins blue crush cologne mixed in with his own unique smell of rain water. I blush, please, just go away Robin; I don't want you to hurt me. But it's too late now, because he's right behind me and I can feel his hands lingering near my arms.

"Beast boy, what are you doing up? You should be resting and healing your wounds,"

I let out a quiet pleasure filled sigh/moan. It feels so good to hear his voice. So silky yet rough and deep at the same time. It sooths me, takes me in it's arms and holds me tight, warm and safe forever. My blush depends and I'm sure that Robin can feel the heat radiating off of me.

"I…" I can't speak; I'm too nervous, too afraid. I feel so…young standing in front of him. He's so confidant and kind and strong yet gentle. When I'm just shaking and nervous. I still have a lot of growing up to do. I guess… I mean, I'm 16 already, Robin's17, but…I still feel like I'm just a little kid next to him.

"It's cold out, you could get sick," he whispers into my ear…oh god, my ear. He's so close. I unconsciously lean back and my head tilts too. I feel my eyelids dropping and a gasp coming forth. God…doesn't he know what he's doing to me?

"I…I'm ok," I whisper. And I can feel it coming; I can feel it in his body language. I can hear it in his breaths.

"Beast boy,"

"I-I have to go to bed, I'm getting kind of tired…" and I twist around, only he traps me against the railing. I could get away easily if I wanted to…but I don't. He's so close and it feels so good to be near him again.

"Wait." He says, his breath tickling my forehead. And he rests his hands on my slim biceps…my upper arms, there's not much muscle there.

"R-Robin…I-"

"Just wait," is tone is a little harsh, but that's ok. I feel his fingers gently caressing my arm and even if I wanted to move, there was no way in hell I could. I don't know what he' thinking, or feeling. I haven't looked up at his face yet, and I don't really want too. This…all this closeness and touching, it was because he was letting me down easy.

But maybe…

No, there was no way. He loves Starfire, everyone sees it. My body tenses just thinking about it.

"You know," he starts and moves away from me to be by my side, resting his arms on the railing, " I remember the first time I met you, I thought that you were,"

Oh here it comes, the let down, I can feel my ears drop a little and I can feel my heart aching already.

"Cute,"

Huh?

Robin chuckles at the small confused sound that escaped from my lips and I blush, shrinking into myself. I listen though; he starts talking in that low soothing voice of his. I always listen when he talks, even if he thinks am not. Well actually, I don't really listen when he's yelling so much…heh.

"But, I also felt sad, because you seemed so happy, and yet…you were alone," he turned his head toward me, but I still didn't look up I don't want to see the disappointment, the refection in his-

"Beast boy, look at me, you haven't this whole time,"

eyes. I did look up into his face then, always fallowing orders from the leader. And I gasped, his mask…it's gone. He wasn't wearing it.

Well no duh, it's the middle of the night, who wears masks to bed? Come on, you're not wearing your uniform and oh…neither is he.

But god he had the most gorgeous blue eyes ever. They were bright and kind, sparkling in the moonlight. I gripped the railing hard and leaned into it; I completely just lost my will to stand.

"Everyone thinks I love Starfire and I do," and there went my heart, "but not how you guys think. She's my best friend and I would do anything to keep her safe."

I was wondering why he hadn't bashed the side of my head in yet. Wasn't he mad? Or freaked out that a guy liked him? Loved him?

"A-aren't' you mad?"

He looks startled at my question.

"Why would I be?"

Well shit, now I have to tell him again.

"B-because I…I t-told you…" but my voice dies in my throat and I look away from his face, back out at the ocean. This was getting stupid; I'm not this giddy, or well girly over someone.

"No," and the whisper was right by my ear again. I glance at him from the corner of my eye and he's close again, my gaze meets his shoulder.

"Look at me, please," he asks confidently. I hate when everyone is confident and I'm not. But I do, I turn so that I'm facing him, keeping one hand on the railing. I never really noticed how short I was…or how tall he was. I'm not looking at his face though, and I guess that's what he wanted because he lifts my chin. His fingers are so smooth on my face, and he's so gentle. I sometimes wonder how he can be so aggressive with criminals and then be so gentle an hour after.

He doesn't drop his hand; instead he slides it up and cups my cheek, his thumb stroking my cheekbone. His fingers are barely touching my hair, tickling my ears. I breathe shakily and it's then that I notice how could it really is. I could see my breath coming out in small white puffs. I watch as his breath tickles my forehead, it's sort of amusing when you can not only feel someone breathing on you, but see it too.

I'm also painfully aware that my skin must look weird next to his tanned layers. My cheeks burn with discomfort as I grasp that I'm only in a tang-top and sweat pants, exposing more of my green colored skin. I move my head to look away, trying to hide the discomfort from Robin, but his hand tightens its grip on me and I feel his fingers soak into my hair, holding me gently in place.

"Robin…" I whisper, just a single soft note in the silence of the night.

Something changed in him suddenly and I found myself crushed to his chest, his strong arms wrapped around my middle tightly, holding on for life. His neck bent down so he could rest his temple against my shoulder. I blush as my arms are trapped against his chest, my cheek resting on his shoulder comfortably. I can feel his hand on the back of my head, tangled in my hair tightly. I can feel the weight of his arm running down my back and the grip of his other hand on my hip.

"Uh," was just about the only thing I could get out.

"Don't ever do that again," Robin whispered against my bare skin, so my tang-top is a little big and the straps fall off, so what? Anyway, I really have no idea what he was talking about. But I clutch tightly to his black t-shirt and close my eyes, breathing him in. His body feels so good against mine, he's so warm and comfortable.

"D-do what?" I'm a little afraid to ask.

"Almost die!" and his voice is rough as his grip tightens on me more. I gasp as my wounds are starting to feel the tug of Robin's tight embrace. And just like that he lets go of me like a burning stick, he looks at me with a weird sort of emotion swirling in his blue eyes.

"Sorry," he murmurs, talking about the wounds that he had annoyed. I don't really care though; I just wanted his warm arms around me again, holding me close.

I shake my head at him and step close to him, letting myself fall against his chest. His arms come up immediately, holding me safe.

"Robin…what is happening…um…with u-us?" I asked quietly still not quiet sure I want to know the answer. He shifts his weight a little and draws my head up. I'm going to have a major neck crap in the morning if I'm going to be looking up at him at this angle all the time. He smiles down at me and leans down closer.

My heart speeds up, my face flares up, oh god…please…just for once, don't let this be a dream.

And as his temple bumps against mine, his smile widens and his eyes chuckle at me. My eyes start to flutter close as I feel his breath on my lips. And right before he presses down against me, sending me to heaven he whispers,

"This,"

And he's kissing me, holding me tight. I can't think, I can't move, but when his tongue runs across my lower lip I let out a gasp and he's in. He's invading me, taking me. He kisses me roughly, hungrily, and yet so gently and sweet. I clutch to him tighter as he battles my tongue, tasting me, loving me. I've never felt anything so hot, so passionate before. And I don't ever want it to stop. I push up against him standing on my toes, trying to get closer, to deep the kiss even more. He chuckles at my need and I feel his laughter rumble through his chest and into mine.

And then I need air, desperately, but I don't want to stop, I don't want him to stop, never. But it does, I feel him pull back, his tongue leaving me. I whimper and he chuckles, tugging at my hair lightly. He doesn't pull back very far though, just far enough so our lips are barely touching. I look into his blue eyes and I don't really find it odd that he's not wearing his mask. But now that he's spoiled me, I don't want him to stop. Now that I've seen his blue pools, I never want to stop seeing them; he's going to have to get used to not wearing his mask more often.

Robin smirks; bringing me back and I realize that I'm breathing heavy, my adrenaline running high. Man, that's another thing, kissing, gets ya going. His hands leave my body and find mine, tangling his fingers with my own. I lean back away form him and he fallows, leaning over me.

"Come on," he whispers, feeling my body shake from the cold, "it's getting late and it's freaking cold up here,"

I find him pulling me by my hand as we walk back to the stairway, wanting to get inside. I smile, in some ways, the beast was right, but he was most defiantly wrong about this one. I laugh to myself and smile at Robin,

"Dude! You're cold? What about me?" I exclaim and right before he go inside, he pulls me close and places a soft kiss on my temple,

"Well, we'll just have to fix that then,"

Oh yeah, the beast was WAY wrong about this one.

* * *

AH! Aww! Cuteness! Don't worry guess, the story isn't going to be as dark for awhile. Actually, I think I may even give the Titans a break from crime fighting and go on a vacation! Even though...there hasn't been much crime fighting in this...heh...heh... anyway! Thanks for reading and please review! 


	5. Chapter 5 Robin

Hey guys! AW: gushes: yay! I finally got them together...er...LOL!

Anyway, thank you for reading my story! your reviews inspire me! SO LEAVE REVIEWS...:cough: tee-hee

P.O.V change: Robin

Enjoy

* * *

Ch. 5 – Robin 

Everyone is whipped. And not just whipped, I mean twisting, fluffy, creamy whipped. The last few weeks have been pretty hard on the titans. Last week Johnny Rancid had us running after him the entire week. I don't think I'd ever get tired off fighting crime, but I don't want to see anymore of Rancid for a long time, especially after what he did to Beast boy.

Not to mention the week before that we had our hands full with Killer Moth, Plasmus and Cinderblock. That week Cyborg had taken a pretty bad hit and had to have half the week off to repair himself. That had been a nightmare; it's never good when one of us is out. We need all the help we could get. We work better as a team and when a team falls apart so does everything else.

And this past week, it seems that our new villains had decided to steal a nuclear power core and they got it, and Beast boy took another beating. He hadn't even healed completely from last week. I was worried about him; our new Villains, Ruby and Nicolas seem to be targeting him. They taunt him, and I'm going to find out why, no matter what it takes.

It's early, around 6:30; I haven't changed out of my uniform in two days. We don't have time to relax any more. It's always one after another, the peaceful month we had wasn't going to last forever, and I knew that. But I didn't expect it to be replaced with such force. It hasn't been so bad this week; it's just the new villains that showed up a couple weeks ago. And ever since then Beast boy's been acting strangely. I've been meaning to ask him about it, what was bothering him and the new threat, but every time I get the chance he's either sleeping or we get a call before I can get anywhere.

As I step into our medical room, I spot Starfire by the window. It's odd for her to be up so early, usually it's only me and every once in awhile Beast boy or Raven. She glances over her shoulder when she hears the door close.

"Robin! Did you have a good rest of night?"

"Good morning Starfire, I did, you?"

"Yes, but I am troubled Robin,"

"Oh?" I don't want to talk any louder; Beast boy is in the next room sleeping. His injuries yesterday had given us a scare again. We had to keep him in here all night, I don't even know if he should get up today. He's not getting enough time to heal. I touch my hand to the glass, watching Beast boy sleep in stillness.

"Beast boy has been troubled."

"He seems alright now,"

"He is not! He has been crying in his sleep. Robin, something is tormenting Beast boy, inside and outside!"

I glance at Starfire, the stress is coming out in her voice, I frown, has she been here all night?

"Starfire, why don't you go rest for a couple more hours?"

"Robin! Do you not care that something is troubling our friend…"

Friend, he's not really a friend to me anymore. I smile at the memory three weeks ago; no he's so much more.

"I know Starfire, don't worry, I will talk to him about it."

"You are sure?"

"Yes, go get some rest, Beast boy won't be joining us on our missions today, you will need all the energy you can get,"

"All right if you are sure Robin,"

And I was left alone to stare down at Beast boy. Starfire was right, whatever was bothering him; it was eating him up inside and out. I've known for a while now, but he won't tell me anything. Maybe he thinks he is protecting us, but really, by keeping us in the dark, he is hurting us.

I sigh and lean against the cold glass,

"Beast boy…"

* * *

Two hours later I find myself cooking breakfast. Starfire is still sleeping, which is good, if weren't she would ask if I had talked to Beast boy yet, of course I haven't, I am not going to wake him just to upset him. Cyborg is up though; he popped in early to tell me he would be in the garage fixing up his car. It had taken heavy damage on Monday. I suppose Raven is up, she just hasn't come out of her room yet. 

"Robin,"

Or, you know she's here in the main room.

"Morning Raven,"

I keep an eye on her to make sure she is healed the right way. She had taken a hard hit yesterday as well. If she hadn't, then…Beast boy would be in worse condition then he is now. I turn to her, to say thanks, only she's laughing at me. How annoying…

"What?"

"Pink Robin?"

I glance down, oh; she was talking about the apron. I couldn't find any so I just grabbed Starfire's. I glare at her and turn back to cooking the eggs.

"It's Starfire's,"

"Right…"

Finishing up, I pile on food for her on a plate and put it down in front of her as I pass, taking a different plate with me.

"Where are you going? People usually eat in the kitchen."

I stop by the door and glance back at her, seeing her clearly. I'm not wearing my mask. Beast boy likes it when I don't. I'm surprised she didn't say anything about it to me.

"It's Beast boy's"

"Yeah, ok,"

I sigh to myself at her answer and turn to head out, but the bruises on her thighs remind me that she had helped Beast boy,

"Thanks,"

And I left before she could ask why. It got me thinking, Raven, that she used to hate Beast boy, but now, she's always protecting him. When ever I get mad at him, in battle, tch, even in the freaking kitchen. Like last Saturday, when he wasn't watching what he was doing and nearly brunt himself. Only he didn't cause of Raven. I smirked, looks like Beast boy was breaking down her walls, like he said he would.

It seems like a long walk from the kitchen to the medical rooms, to me at least. I think it's because I don't like to see Beast boy like that…how he was, lying there, helpless and hurt. Though, when I get there, he's not laying there helpless and hurt. Anger builds in me right away, because I'm worried and I open the door into the small room where he's, well not resting. I'm not sure what the hell he's doing.

"Hey!" and he jumps about five feet into the air. Well shit, he morphed. I shouldn't have shouted, it messes with his injuries when he morphs. Actually, I shouldn't yell at him so much, but give me a break here, I'm still new at this whole, relationship thing. I sigh and place the plate of food on the large windowsill and lean down to look under the medical bed, where a green kitten is shaking.

I kneel down and hold my hand out,

"Sorry Beast boy, I didn't mean to startle you,"

He crawls out and is back in his human forum in less then a second, sitting on the bed and looking at me with his huge green eyes.

"Dude! You brought me food!" he exclaims at the plate and I know that I'm not going to be getting any attention until he's done eating. I hand him the plate of tofu and veggies and wait for him to shove it down. Raising an eyebrow I shake my head and take the now empty plate back from him.

"You shouldn't eat so fast, you could choke,"

"Yeah yeah, I'm just happy to have some company! I mean since Star left it's been really quiet."

I walk up close to him and rest my hands on his thin waist, leaning my temple against his as he places his bandage-covered hands over my arms.

"Was she in here the whole night?"

"I don't know, but she sang to me whenever I woke up from a dream,"

From a nightmare he means. I feel bad; I'm never really there when he has a nightmare. I'm always on a solo mission, or I'm fixing something or…I don't know just something. I lean in close and kiss him gently, smoothing back his hair. It's been growing out long, reaching just past his ears when it's not gelled back. I don't know what started the new look, but he just woke up one morning and told us that he was growing his hair out. Of course, at the time, none of us really listened to him; we were all…uh, distracted.

He smiled up at me when I pull back, "Cyborg stopped in an hour ago! He said that I'm well enough to go into the main room and play video games with him,"

I snort; I highly doubt that, Cyborg is just going to get bored if there aren't any crimes to fight. Which, considering the past couple of weeks, is not likely to happen.

"We'll see,"

"Aw! Man, come on Robin!"

"I said we'll see, now turn around." I command. He growls at me but turns around so I can undress his wounds and take a look. If they aren't healing fast enough, I just might have to get Raven to help him along. We can't have Beast boy out for long.

As the white wrapping unwinds from his thin waist, I frown, something's not right. His temple was hot to the touch, now that I think about it and his skin is clammy cold. As I come close to the wound, I hope my fears are wrong. But, in most cases, I'm right and as I pull the last wrap off, it looks like this is one of those cases.

Three long claw cuts dig deep into Beast boy's side, running deep, and one of them has gotten infected. I frowned; Beast boy must be in loads of pain.

"Didn't you feel this?"

"Feel what?"

"The infection,"

"What! What infection! What am I infected with!"

Argh…sometimes, I just want to take a bat and smash his brains out and then put a new one in.

"No, your cuts, one of them is infected,"

"Oh, um, well I don't know, I mean I felt a sharp pain all night, but I just thought I was laying on it wrong,"

I sigh, keep cool, that's the thing to do, keep cool, don't yell at him.

"You could have called me on your communicator."

"I…I didn't want to wake you up…or anyone else." And he looks at me with sad eyes, the same defeated look, with his ears down and his eyes watering, every time he would mess up on a mission, or every time I yelled at him and my anger just melted.

I wrap my arms around him from behind and rest my chin on his shoulder and he looks down at me, the look still on his face.

"Robin I-"

"You're not coming with us if we get any missions,"

"Dude! That's so unfair!"

I let go of him and walk around the bed, so I can look at his face.

"How? You're hurt and if you go you will only endanger yourself farther and possibly one of us,"

"But what if it's Ruby and Nicolas!"

Good, since we were on the subject, maybe I could get something out of him.

"Don't worry, we'll be alright, just rest up so you can get back out there,"

And I turn to leave, knowing he'll stop me,

"Robin!" only problem is, now he's mad.

Or not, as I look at him, there's tears running down his face. Shit, way to go Robin, be an ass.

"Look," and I bring close to me, sitting down on the medical bed, "you'll just end up getting hurt even more, I need you to be here and heal, ok?"

He lets out a sigh and cuddles close to me. I smile, glad that he's not fighting with me on this one. I let him cling to me and I stay quiet. Just holding him, enjoying the way his body fits with mine. The way his hair tickles my neck.

By the time I work up the never to ask him about Ruby and Nicolas, about what's bothering him, he's fallen asleep. I sigh; of course, it's always like this. I jump though as my communicator goes off and as I flip the screen up, Raven sits in the kitchen glaring at me, Starfire flying around in the background.

"What are you doing over there?" she asks, death in her voice. I smirk; Starfire must be getting on her nerves. And Raven cringes as Starfire floats up behind her, waving at me,

"Hello Robin! It is a wonderful day today yes?"

"Uh, sure Star," and she floats back a ways, singing happily. I chuckle; Raven looks like she's about to pop a blood vessel.

"Robin, give me a good reason to leave,"

"Or?"

"Or else…" and that eerie, 'I'll kill you right now', effect hangs on to the end of her words. But really, all jokes over and done with, I did have a good reason for her to come down here. Beast boy needed to heal faster, and I wanted Raven to see what she could do about the infection.

"Actually, I was hoping you could come down here, I want to discuss something with you,"

"Ok, be there in a few,"

"Alright, uh, was that all you called for, a reason to get out of the kitchen?"

"No, Aqualad and Bumble-Bee called in,"

"Alright,"

And that was it, now I was just waiting for her to come. Aqualad and Bumble-Bee huh? I hope they aren't in our need of assistance, we don't really need the extra work right now and I would feel bad about turning them down. My thoughts and wait are interrupted though as Cyborg pokes his head in and smiles at me. My face darkens, I know that smile, it's his, I'm gunna tease you until you kill me smile. Wonderful.

"Aw, isn't that cute?" he laughs through the intercom in the other room. Yeah, he's smart; he didn't come in here and tease me. Other wise his ass wouldn't be in the tower anymore.

"What Cyborg?" I asked, my voice full of annoyance. He holds his hands up and takes a step back form the window, still laughing though.

"Whoa, man, piss-y,"

Argh, really, I don't want to fool around right now.

"Cyborg-"

"Ok! Ok, chill out, I just came by to tell you that Overload is taking out a power center downtown."

"Shit,"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, grab Starfire, Raven and I will meet you there in a bit,"

"Ok,"

And he was gone. I growled out loud, this really didn't need to be happening right now. I gently untangled myself form Beast boy and made sure he was curled up comfortably, but away from the scratches on his left side. It wasn't long before Raven came hurrying in.

"Cyborg said that Overload was attacking downtown? Why aren't we going?" there was no hint of frustration, no worry or panic, just monotone and I gestured toward Beast boy.

"One of his cuts are infected, I was wondering if you could do something about it,"

"Depends, is it bad?"

I stepped out of her way as she leaned over Beast boy, "take a look for yourself,"

She was quiet for a long time and I kept thinking about Starfire and Cyborg, I hoped they were ok; it's not usual for only two of us to go out and try to fight. I stared at the back of Raven's uneven hair, listening to her "Azarath, metrion, zinthos," murmuring and waited. The silence, besides Raven's talking, was killing me. I know I should be thinking about Cyborg and Starfire, but my mind stayed on Beast boy. His bright green eyes, his soft lips, silky green hair. His lithe body, the way his voice sounds, his touch. I didn't want to leave him, at least not without telling him. But I wouldn't have time to write a note out after Raven was finished.

"Ok, the infection is out, but he'll have to heal the wounds on his own."

"All right, thanks a lot Raven, you go on ahead, I'll meet up with you guys,"

And Raven smirked as she left the room whispering a

" Don't take too long now," with an amused tone.

I redressed his wounds carefully, not wanting to wake him, he needed his sleep. I took longer then I should have, redressing him. I didn't want to leave him, I had a bad feeling, and it kept lurking around in the back of my mind, taunting me.

I sighed when I was finished, wishing that it took longer to cover wounds. I went around the room in a scurry, putting water next to the table by his head, pulling blankets down from the closet and covering him. I dimmed the lights; he doesn't like it when it's too bright. I grabbed my mask that was on the bedside table; I had taken it off in here earlier that morning, before I headed into the kitchen.

Before I slipped it on, I stared at Beast boy, god, he was so cute. I lean over him and brush a stray hair away from his face, tucking it behind his pointed ear. I hope he doesn't have any nightmares while we are gone. Actually, I hope he doesn't wake up until we get back,

_If you come back…_

I growled at myself for thinking that, it was just, this dark feeling, I couldn't shake it. Sighing, I lean down and bush my lips over his, and I left then, not knowing that that was the last time I would feel Beast boy's lips for a long time.

* * *

As Robin ran off into the storm that was quickly coming his way, Beast boy tossed and turned, darkness haunting his sleep. He cried out, ripping open his healing cuts. He dreamed off dark things, surrounding him, taking him, destroying his home, his city, and his friends…his Robin. His green eyes shot open, wide with fear, his body drenched in sweat, and the youngest member of the titans sat up and leaned over, trembling, a scream erupting from his throat,

"ROBIN!"

* * *

O.o I didn't expect to write that...um...that is happening a lot lately. Anyway, Thanks so much for reading! please review and read the next chapter to find out just what on Earth has Beast boy so scared and if Robin really will come back to the tower. :) 


	6. Chapter 6 A Fate Worse Then Death

Hey all! Heck yes! Another chapter! Man, I'm so on a roll, I haven't writen this much in this short amount of time in...well forever!

Chapter 7 will be coming up in a day or so! Depends if my brother lets me on the computer! lol! Anyway, I'm giving everyone a heads up that there will be a lemon in the later chapters, but you'll have to ask me to e-mail to you, since doesn't allow you to post them (not graphic ones)! PLEASE REVIEW! PRETTY PLEASE:)

Now, on with it!

Enjoy!

* * *

It was raining by the time I got to the location of Overload. And not just drizzling, it was New York fall pouring rain. Thunder rumbled above us as I joined the fight, going in with a jump kick. The lightning cracked, lighting up everything around us for a mere second and then fading back to darkness. It was hard to make out the other titan members, especially Raven. I guess Cyborg and Starfire weren't hard to find, all the glowing, but Raven I couldn't see at all sometimes. I swore I almost kicked her at least twice.

Things were looking up as Cyborg got Overload with his beam. But that was the only thing, the rain was coming down even harder and it was getting darker out, the storm was right above us, taking us in and holding us tight.

"Robin!" Cyborg yelled over the noise, as Overload fell to the ground, defeated. "We gotta get back, this storm is getting pretty bad!"

I agreed, the storm was getting difficult to fight in. but something was off, this had been…too easy, and I voice my thought to Cyborg, though it was Starfire who answered me,

"Perhaps we are just becoming strong Robin,"

Maybe…but something wasn't right. I glanced around in the storm, squinting, looking for Raven.

"Where's Raven?" I shouted over a roll of thunder. And when she didn't answer right away, I panicked, I was right, something was off. Something had gotten her, what if she was-

"I'm here," her voice came to me from the right, close and I glanced over, finding her floating low to the ground, using her magic to keep herself dry, though it wasn't working to well as the wind just pushed the rain into her from the side.

"All right, everyone is counted for," Cyborg yelled, "lets go home,"

But he never got to take a step, for something rushed out behind him and he was down on the ground being dragged away. It happened so fast, that I just stood there in shock, letting the rain hit me like fierce knifes. It was Starfire's scream that brought me back in a flash and as lightning strikes the ground I look up and saw something, black, like vines, wrapping itself around Starfire, bringing her down.

"No!" and I ran toward her, hoping get to her in time, I watched as she seemed to sink into the ground, a dark substance dragger her away. I ran, faster then I thought I could right now. I pushed myself, ignoring the burning in my legs. I won't let her down! Five feet and she was sinking lower, four feet, her waist was gone, three feet, her hands touched the blackness, 2 feet, her head is going down, and I leap, reaching for her hand that she had reached out for me to grab.

But it's too late and it swallows her whole,

"Starfire!" I hit the ground with my fists, ignoring the bleeding pain.

I glanced around, looking for Raven, two titans down, two to go. Shit, I lost her, where is she,

"Raven!" I can't find her, come on, give me a sigh, help me Raven, tell me where you are! My heart is racing as I run straight back from where I came from, hoping that Raven was still there. My feet splash the muddy water in the deep puddles, the water hitting my bare arms like needles. It's cold and wet and dark. My breath is deep, I'm running out of energy and the dark feeling in my mind has hit me with full blast. Terror works its way through my body, where are you, Raven?

"Raven!" I try again and over the thunder I here her soft voice cry back, from the right side of me. I take off, frantic, needing to get to her, to save her. I won't fail her, I won't!

"Raven!" I call, losing where she is and her voice is louder this time,

"Robin!" and a loud blast comes shooting out of nowhere, lighting up everything in front of me. There! She's right in front of me, 100 feet. Hang on Raven; I'm almost there. I can see the black vines crawling around the floor, up the walls, reaching for her.

"Raven!" and I immediately regret calling out to her. She turns, searching for me, leaving herself vulnerable and the darkness attacks. She lets out a yelp as it wraps itself around her ankle, yanking her down,

"No!" I hear her scream, but it's getting her, taking her with it. Shit, I'm nowhere near close to save her, to help her. Just hang in there. I watch through the flashes of lightning as she breaks free and a spark of hope flares in me. Only to be pushed down, as five vines reach out at once, grabbing her, pulling her down faster then before.

"NO!" I'm almost there, almost!

But a circle of the shadow grows on the wall and the vines pull Raven in, faster then I thought they would. And I don't even reach the place where she was before she was sucked in. The darkness leaves the wall as soon as it came and I growl.

"DAMN IT!" and I hit the wall, fierce at myself. I knew it! I could feel it! Something had been wrong! It had been too easy! No! I shut my eyes tight, wanting to block out the world from around me and I sink to the ground. My knees burn when I hit the street, getting soaked from the puddles.

No…I lost them…Cyborg…Starfire…Raven…no.

_Failed…_

"ARGH! NO!" and I smash the ground, water splashing up around me hanging in the air, soaking me. My hair sticks to my face, my breath deep and heavy gasps. I felt frustrated tears stream down my face, but no one can see, it mixes in with the rain.

"Robin…" a whisper floats to me, strangely loud in the storm. I jump to my feet, glancing around in the darkness. I step forward and as a flash of lightning brightens the sky, I see her. Standing on top of the nearest building in front of me, her black cloak blowing in the strong wind, her red hair glowing as well as her eyes.

Ruby…

That means the dark vines trick was Nicolas. Mutated from something, they weren't normal villains. Something stronger, something worse then Slade. Way worse, I could feel it in my bones.

Ruby laughs, her voice high and full of joy.

"Robin…oh Robin…"

I girt my teeth and walk out into the street, coming out from the ally way I had run down.

"Are you lost little birdie?"

My fist tightens and I stand in a fighting stance, ready to fight, even though my energy is quickly fading.

"Robin…"

I jump; her voice is closer now, somewhere else, to the left of me,

"Robin…" again, not a second after the first whisper, this time behind me.

"Robin…" and she is right there, to the right, she's close. I growl and let out a yell as I throw a blind punch, not smart, but I'm frustrated and when someone is angry, they don't always do what is the smartest. I hit nothing but air and suddenly, a kick to my stomach and I fly backwards, flat on my back, inch high puddles closing in around me, sinking my waist and legs and arms under shallow water.

"Oh…did you fall?" she's taunting me, laughing, enjoying her cruelty. I can't move, everything hurts, I can't…I'm so tired. But I have to I have to get up…

"Where's your little lover Robin?"

What?

"Why isn't Garfield with you?"

No…Beast boy! I jump up with everything that I have left. And I run, I run for the tower. Oh god, Beast boy, please, be ok…please. Panic over takes me as Ruby's high laughter echoes behind me, fading.

How does she know Beast boy? Oh my god…it was a trap. They sent Overload out to distract us…NO! Oh god, Beast boy, please, please, be ok. Be there!

Tears are streaming down my face, but I don't care, I just want Beast boy to be all right. I grit my teeth together, hard. The pain is so much; everything is getting to be too much.

As I reach the tower, I can see that the power is out…I don't know if it's from the storm, or from an attack. I paled, oh god…he was sleeping. He was alone! He's injured; he's not strong enough to defend himself, not all alone, not yet! It's too soon!

As soon as the doors slide open, I ran in at top speed.

"Beast boy!" it's dark, so very dark. And cold, it's too cold. As I run past the main room I freeze, it's a mess; everything is ripped up, broken, thrown around. Oh god, and I take off again. Jesus, please be there Beast boy. As I reach the hallway that the medical room is on, I'm greeted with the sight of a battle.

In front of me, Bumble-Bee and Aqualad are fighting the shadow vines as they are waiting. For what? Beast boy is too injured to be moving fast enough to get out quickly.

They haven't noticed me; they are to in locked with the battle. So in locked, that Aqualad didn't see the vine drifting out of the wall behind him. I growl and throw a disk at it and it recoils from the blast. Startled, Aqualad and Bumble-Bee glance over at me and smile.

"Robin!" Bumble-Bee shouts.

I run over to them knocking away a few vines that try to reach out and grab me. The three of us quickly turn our backs to one another, in a triangle, ready to fight as more black vines crawl toward us.

"How many of these things are there?" Aqualad yells at me,

"Too many! You can't win, we'll have to run!"

Bumble-Bee nods and runs to the medical room doorway, shouting,

"Speedy! Come on, grab him and get out! We can't beat these things."

And Speedy emerges, Beast boy in arms. I sigh with relief on the inside, on the out side I wave at them to fallow me. We couldn't go through the city; it's too dangerous, and staying here was out of the question. We run through the hallways, the black vines fallowing us, almost matching our speed. I lead them down to where our water subs are. We'll have to go to Atlantis. It may not be the safest bet, but it's the only one we have. As we enter the latch bay, I shut the doors and lock it down, but it wouldn't hold those things for long.

Stopping for a moment, I look around to make sure that everyone is ok and too see who is all here. Aqualad and Bumble-Bee look a little shaken, but fine and Speedy is frowning as he gently lets Beast boy to his feet. Seeing Beast boy awake, my mind just leaves me and I rush to him, ignoring the other three east titans.

Beast boy looks up at me as he hears me running toward him and all he can get out before I throw myself around him is

"Rob-"

Knocking him forward but quickly pulling him into me and leaning myself back to keep us from falling to the ground. I hear the other three east titans gasp with surprise, but I don't care, I hold on tight to him, squishing him to me. My cloak swirls around us before claming as we stop moving and I hear him take in a shutter and cling to me as tightly as I am to him.

"Beast boy," and I run my fingers into his hair. I was so afraid, so afraid of losing him…like the others. My heart stops…oh god…what happened to them? Are they dead…oh shit. And I'm losing it, I'm falling apart. My breath is still shallow and I cling tighter to Beast boy, whispering loudly to him,

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I start to rock him back and forth. But I know that I'm doing it for me and not him. Dimly, I hear Bumble-Bee give a shout and Aqualad telling us to climb in. I feel Beast boy pull me and Speedy pushing me towards our largest submarine. And I fall to the ground, dragging Beast boy with me as the metal door closes and we sink down into the water.

Beast boy and I fall to our knees in the dark. He's crotched down on his knees, huddled smaller then me and rests his head against my chest, his fingers clinging to my biceps. And I hug him tight to me, his body sticking to me because of the rain. I sit high on my knees, trying to keep my tears from Beast boy.

"Robin?" and I feel him pull back from me. I fall lower, sitting back on my legs as he takes my face in his slender hands. "Robin, what happened?"

"I…" but my voice dies. All I think about is that I failed. I wasn't leading them, I failed them and I had failed Beast boy. A cold feeling comes over me, as Beast boy isn't in my arms anymore, so cold. I blink, trying to stay awake, but my vision is going dark. I sigh when the warmth returns, Beast boy now holding me close, tight against his chest.

"Robin, you're shaking,"

Yes, I know. Because I failed. A new wave of hot tears form on my face and I realize that Beast boy had taken off my mask as they flowed freely down my face. I shut my eyes tight, and reach out, getting a tight grip on Beast boy again. I rise a little, so I can rest my forehead on his shoulder and I whisper quietly to him,

"Sorry…failed…so sorry,"

And his soothing voice echoed in my head as the darkness took over me…

"I love you…"

* * *

O.o Again, I had no ideaI was going to make that happen so fast! That was a rush to write...wow. LOL! Anyway, thank you for reading and find out next chapter, what happened to Starfire, Cybrog and Raven, and are Besat boy, Robin, and the titans east really safe in Atlantis?

Please review:)


	7. Chapter 7 Atlantis

Hello! Another chapter, another day! yay! This might be the last chapter i update in a day, i'll be busy for the next two days, but after that, i'll be back writing! don't worry, i won't keep you waiting for to long...heh...heh...unlike my other stories that i have been neglecting...

Anyway, thanks you guys for reading! i really love that you like my story, it makes me so happy! ok, i won't hold you up any longer, now go have fun!

Enjoy!

* * *

I ignored the pain in my side as the titan's sub went deeper and deeper down. Robin had fallen asleep and was curled up around me right now. Bumble-Bee offered to take him to one of the medical beds in here but I shook my head, I didn't want to leave him. He was shaking, even in his rest. I could smell the fear radiating off of him and the anger. He was mad, so mad.

"Beast boy!" I looked up at Aqualad as he called my name. "You shouldn't stay there, you need to be resting and so does Robin,"

I knew he was right, my wounds were getting worse because I was moving around so much and with my morph I had done earlier…it wasn't good. And Robin, I don't know what injuries he had suffered. As far as I can tell, he's not bleeding, I don't smell his blood.

I sigh and rest my cheek on Robin's head, I was worried. Worried about him and the others. Since they didn't come back, I'm guess that Nicolas had gotten them with his little trick. That wasn't good, and I knew that Nicolas and Ruby only took them for a reason, to get to me. I knew what I would have to do, sooner or later, and it was going to have to be sooner, a lot sooner then I want. I would have to tell Robin first though, have to tell him everything.

"Hey!" and my thoughts were distracted once again, yet by Bumble-Bee this time. "Do you have any idea what that was BB?"

"Yeah," I said grimly, standing, but it wasn't working out too good, Robin's a lot heavier then he looks. Bumble-Bee giggled at my attempt to get Robin up, but Aqualad took pity on me, thank god, and took Robin from me.

"Don't strain yourself Beast boy," he said, I huffed and struck a muscle pose.

"What are you talking about, Dude!" only, I pulled my wounds that had reopened and I hissed, bending over as the pain shot through my whole body.

"BB!" but I waved at Bumble-Bee as I walked clumsily over to the small medical area of the sub, sitting down on one of the pull out beds.

I was bleeding, I know I was, I could smell it and it was really strong. I would have to get my bandages re-wrapped soon. But I still had to explain to the titans east what exactly that was back there. However, I blinked, realizing someone was missing, or rather, two people.

"Where are the twins?"

Speedy glanced back at me from the control center of the sub and smirked,

"They're on vacation in Mexico."

"Mexico?"

"Yes,"

"Why would they-" but Bumble-Bee rolled her eyes and hushed me.

"Beast boy, we need to know what is going on," she asks me, telling me to take my shirt off. I blush, I don't like people to see me, I don't like the looks they give me because my skin. I don't even like Robin looking at exposed skin, at least not anymore then I have too. But I slip my shirt off anyway; my wounds were starting to bother me.

"About a month ago, we got some new villains in the city," I began, hissing when Bumble-Bee began unwinding my wrapping, some of my blood had dried and it was sticking to the white cloth. "They are doctors that mutated from some sort of experiment,"

"Like scientists?"

"Yeah, sort of," and I hissed again as she began to re-wrap me, pulling my ripped skin close together.

"What do they want?" Aqualad asks, looking at me with pain, I'm guessing my wounds had been worse off then I thought.

"Me,"

"What!" I jumped back as all three of them yelled at me. I looked down though over the sudden outburst and sighed.

"Before I joined the titans, or the doom control…I was alone. I didn't have any place to be or stay. My parents had died and I was living on the streets for a year, and that's when they found me. Ruby and Nicolas Smith. They took me in and took care of me, but it all ended a year later," and I was careful not to lift my head up, otherwise they would see the tears starting to form, "they worked for the government, some kind of military weapon thing, involving DNA changing. And they needed something, someone to test it on. So Ruby and Nicolas brought me in, but I never let them test me. I would change to fast for to long. So in the end, they just got mad and kept me locked up, beating me, torturing me,"

"Oh god," I hear Bumble-Bee whisper sadly and I took that moment to collect myself, I couldn't fall apart.

"I don't know how long I was there for, a year at least, when one day, when Ruby and Nicolas had taken off for vacation, I attacked one of the other Scientist and I killed them, escaping." My memories of the blood everywhere was fresh in my mind and I had to keep telling myself that the smell of blood now was from myself and not someone else that I had killed.

"Beast boy…I'm sorry,"

"Eh, don't worry about it Dude! It was a long time ago…"

It was quiet after that and awkward, I hate when things feel awkward. I glanced over at Robin then and gasped lightly to myself, his eyes were open, and he was awake. Well shit, I didn't want him to know, not right now. He stared right at me, a thousand different emotions swirling in his blue eyes.

"Well what do they want with you now?" Aqualad asked and Robin's eyes shut close, and I wondered if I had just imaged it or not. Looking away form him I looked at the three east titans who were waiting for my answer.

"I don't know…revenge?"

"But you didn't do anything,"

"Not totally, but I heard that they got fired after I ran away because I had killed one of their employs,"

Bumble-Bee sighed, "that still doesn't make sense, how could they have mutated without a lab?"

"They had a lab at their home,"

"Well that sucks," Speedy pointed out. And he was right, it really did. Now that I think about it, I don't think Ruby and Nicolas had an experiment gone wrong, they never messed up, never had, never will…

"_Never been loved, and never will be loved, freak…"_

I grit my teeth as their voices fill my head from the past. I need Robin…he's here, but he's not. I sigh, things were looking dim and I don't think it would let up anytime soon.

"Get some rest, you'll be safe, I don't think those things can come into the water,"

"They can't," I whisper to Bumble-Bee's thought. I had been doing research on my recovery days, when Robin wouldn't let me fight. I had to know more about Ruby and Nicolas, what had happened to them.

"Oh?"

"The water mud's up Nicolas's mind,"

"You mean, a person was doing that with his mind?" Aqualad asks, bewildered. I nod, it's not that surprising, not after living with someone like Raven, she doesn't even show what she could really do. I sigh and lay down, looking at Robin, willing myself to sleep as I listen to the titan's east discuss the new threat and what to do about the rest of the titans. I frowned, what happened to Starfire, Cyborg and Raven? I hoped they were all right…I hoped Nicolas and Ruby don't do anything to them.

And I fell into dream world.

* * *

When I awoke next my mind was foggy and I dimly saw Robin smiling at me with a warn smile, Speedy helping him walk. His eyes held gentleness though and I managed a weak smile before I was out again. 

It wasn't until the silence settled around me did I wake from my slumber, fully awake. It was dark and weird to see fish swim over me. At first my mind panicked, but then I remembered what happened. The darkness circling me, drowning me. I couldn't breath, couldn't see, it was taking me away, and then a sudden flash and I was back in the tower, Speedy, Aqualad and Bumble-Bee standing by me.

The battle that I couldn't take part of, because of my injuries. My burning need for Robin to be all right, to be with me. My surprise when I hear Robin's disks blow outside the room as Speedy dragged me out and the bone crushing embrace that Robin and pulled me into before we headed down to the depths of water for safety.

I sigh loudly and blink rapidly, trying to get used to the dark room and seeing sea animals swim by, looking down at me like I was an alien. Of course, I get those looks a lot, I mean really, green hair, green skin, pointed ears…how much more of an alien can you get?

Getting tired of being sent into a state of shock every time a fish or whale or shark swims overhead, I sit up and feel the tight pull of my wounds. The slight chill and the silky smooth sheets tell me that I'm not wearing a shirt or wrapping for my wounds. I look down at myself, curious and have to squint in the dark to see my wounds. Not really having any luck, I run my fingers over my side and jump lightly at the feel of stitches. All three of my wounds were stitched up…eh, that must have taken a long time. Slowly moving my fingers down, I count the stitches there and end at 24. That was the shortest cut I had received.

"Beast boy?"

I jump as Robin's quiet voice echoes around me and I realize after the shock that Robin is laughing at me, my breaths short and quick.

"Dude! Don't scare me like that, I don't want to die of a heart attack, least of all on the bottom of the ocean!"

He chuckles, of course he does, what else is he going to do? And it's then as well, that I grasp that I can't see him. I let my ears drop a bit…

"Ah, Robin, where are you man?"

"Right here," his voice whispers soothingly in my ear and I feel warm arms wrap around my waist. I blush and twist around until I'm facing him. It's still really dark and I can just make out his outline now, but even this close, I can't see his face too well. I can't really miss the way he bumps my nose with his though. I pull back startled when he does and he chuckles, feeling my blush.

I don't get it, when I'm not all close with him I'm not like this, but the second he touches me I melt into this pile of goo. Like right now, he's crawled half way into my lap, pushing me down onto the bed.

"R-Robin…"

"You know," and he kisses my lips gently, "I'm sort of mad at you,"

"W-what?"

He kisses me again, this time on my cheek, "you told the titans east about your past with our new villain but not me? Not us?"

"I-I'm sorry…" and he chuckles again, crawling all the way over me, looking down, trapping me in a safe bubble with his body.

"I'm serious, I want you to be able to talk to me,"

"I-I…" I don't think I can talk anymore, not when he's doing that to my neck. My fingers find their way into his thick black hair, holding tight as a shaky moan slips from my lips. His body is trapping mine, so warm, so hard with muscles. His hands, now glove free, slid up my waist, touching me gently.

"R-Robin…" my voice sounds so different…so breathy and shaky, it's something I'm not used too.

"We have to get them back, soon,"

"I-I know,"

"Once you are healed, we won't leave until then,"

"O-ok," and I gasp right after my answer and arch my body into his, my eyes shutting tight. I hadn't expected him to push down on me like that, moving with me, against me. God, he felt so good. And as he stroked my thigh and tugged lightly at my hair, his lips met mine, a hunger burning deep.

He stroked my lower lip with his tongue, waiting for me to gasp and let him in. and it didn't take long either. The cold room was heating up fast as he battled my tongue, tasting me. I've never felt a kiss so strong, so wanting. It sent hot flashes to my bones; it sent my body trembling with need to be closer.

However, as much as he wanted me, I knew he wouldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to, something I wasn't ready for. And what he wanted right now, I was defiantly not ready for. But I trusted him, he could…always tell what people were ready for and what they weren't and just in case he couldn't tell this time, I broke away from the kiss gently, not moving my lips, letting them rest centimeters away from his, his breath hot on my face.

"Robin…I…uh…I,"

"Don't worry, I won't," and he captures my lips again, making me sigh and wrap my arms tighter around his neck, resting on his shoulders, my fingers tangled in his hair. I really love him, he knows…some how, he always knows. And even in times like this, with our friends missing, our home taken over, he always makes me feel safe, makes me feel loved. He's always so strong.

But sometimes, when he's tired, or when something isn't going well, like right now, he comes to me late at night and I don't know how long we stay up, making out, touching. Maybe that's his way of saying that he wasn't very confident right then, that he too needed someone to be close to, to reassure him that, in the end, everything would be alright.

* * *

Bumble-Bee sat around the wooden table in the kitchen that was so familiar to her. Aqualad by the stove, cooking dinner for the group, slowly coming down from the high of the excitement earlier that day. With this new threat in the city, the three would have to team up with the titans, especially now that Starfire, Cyborg and Raven were missing.

Looking up as Speedy walked into the room, Bumble-Bee frowned, the orange haired teen had an odd look on his face. Aqualad glanced at him and snorted,

"What's with you,"

"This,"

And Speedy walked to the nearest computer and brought up the security cameras that were in every room. Bumble-Bee rolled her eyes,

"Where are BB and Robin?"

"I don't think you want to bother them, they can eat later,"

"Well, why not, they both need their strength,"

"Fine, see for yourself,"

And Speedy stepped aside and Bumble-Bee nearly fell out of her chair. On the screen in front of her, was showing the camera in the medical room that the two titans were staying in, and they most certainly were _not_ resting. Inside, they were heavy making out, completely sucked in to each other and only each other. Aqualad choked on the spoon full of stew that he had been cooking.

"Are you kidding?"

"No," Speedy said with a smirk, however Bumble-Bee frowned.

"This could be a problem,"

"How?"

"Emotions aren't good to get in the way of battle,"

"It's their life, just leave it alone," Speedy argued back and the subject was dropped as the Speedy clicked the computer off. Bumble-Bee though couldn't help but feel that by the end of this, someone was going to get killed, and it just might be one of those two if they couldn't keep their emotions separate from battle.

Speedy was right though, it wasn't her choice, it was their life, but still, Bumble-Bee couldn't keep the nagging feeling that this would go up in flames, somehow…

* * *

Eh...i had trouble with this chapter...i was drawing a major blank...O.o But! I got in my Robin and Beast boy moment! YAY! Thank you for reading! Please Review:) 


	8. Chapter 8 Into The Darkness

Hey! Sorry I took so long to update, been distracted! LOL!

Ok, I was way going to wait for this, but I really felt like writing one, so I did.

Thats right, this people, is the LEMON chapter! However, there is no detailed alternative, at least not for this chapter, there will be another one later. please do not ask for the detailed alternative of this chapter, i won't have it. you'll just have to wait longer! tee-hee :)

Enjoy!

* * *

It wasn't until two weeks later was I fully healed, ready to fight. Robin thought that two weeks was pushing it though. My wounds had healed considerably and I had gotten the stitches out just yesterday, but they were still there, just smaller and scabbed tight.

We would be leaving at 8:00 back to the city that we had left to be devoured. Speedy said that to fight the darkness, you should be the darkness. And Robin agreed, going in at dark would be helpful. However, that was way away, right now it was 5:00 in the morning and I'm trying to will myself sleep to get back to sleep.

It totally wasn't working.

I sighed and turned over. I couldn't help but think about the guys. I felt like it was my fault. It wouldn't be the first time, everything was always my fault. Small, big, no matter what, somehow it always turned out to be my fault. I shiver and curl closer to myself, trying to keep from thinking about depressing things right.

I'm interrupted though when the door slides open and Robin steps in, fresh out of the shower. I glance at him and bit my lip, keeping my moan from escaping, god…he looks so hot. Standing there in jeans that hang tight around his hips, and become lose around his legs, hanging low. Water dripping off his un-gelled hair as it frames his face.

"Good morning," he says, his voice low and soft, just the way I like it. I mange a mumbled morning, if that even, I'm really distracted by the water rolling down his chest…his _very_ muscular chest. He chuckles and waves his hand at me, telling me to scoot over.

And when I don't, he just falls down on top of me. I yelp, he may have taken a hot shower, but the water had turned cold and I had been nice and warm in my nest of blankets.

"Dude!"

He just looks at me like I'm the weirdest looking thing in the universe.

"Go sleep on your own bed!" I add, though I really don't want him too. He can tell that I don't mean it and he rolls over, facing me and wraps his arms tight around me, pulling me close. I yelp again as the water hits my bare skin. Glaring I keep my arms at my side, fully intending to NOT give in. it's very hard not to through as he leans down and starts biting my ear. Oh, I love when he does that...NO! Don't give in, must control myself. I need sleep…oh! I feel my eye twitch as he slips his tongue around my ear, biting and licking. And before I know it I moan and my hands are clutching at his biceps.

Damn it…

"Robin,"

"What?"

"Stop…" he pulls back at my request and looks down at me, worry in his eyes.

"Are you ok?"

"Robin…I'm sorry,"

He looked at me with bewilderment in his blue eyes.

"About what?"

"This is all my fault…"

"Uh…"

"I-"

"Shut up,"

I blush and look down,

"O-ok…"

Well that went well didn't it? I growl at myself when no one answered. But of course he wouldn't, he was resting somewhere forever.

"You know," Robin begins, finally resting his touches and kisses, just holding me against him, stroking my hair while he holds me close by my waist, his hand limp across my hip, " whatever happens today…it, it's not your fault, ok?"

I don't answer him, I just pull myself closer to him and he brushed his lips across my temple.

"Really, it's not, so try not to beat yourself up ok? Cause, no one else will,"

"That'll be a first," Hearing the doubt in my voice and Robin tenses.

"I know that we're not always the nicest to you Best boy, but, we care about you, a lot, all of us, I'm sorry that we get like that…that I get like that."

"It's ok,"

"No its not, there's no reason for us to be rude to you, all you want is to hang out. We spend half our time fighting or sleeping, I know you just want to try had have some normal time in our lives,"

I'm never going to understand how he always knows, and not just with me, but everyone.

"It's ok, I know I can be annoying…"

And his arms squeeze me tight.

"I'm so sorry,"

"Don't lie, you know I get annoying…"

"So, Cyborg gets annoying too, so does Starfire,"

I chuckle at that one, never would have thought Robin got annoyed with Starfire.

"Even Raven gets annoying with her, I'm depressed because I'm 'evil'."

Ok, now he was totally just making stuff up.

"Dude, Raven's not annoying,"

But he wasn't listening, he was rambling,

"And I'm sure I get annoying. I mean with my temper and all,"

"Robin,"

"And with my bossy-ness,"

"Dude, shut up,"

"And the fact that I think that I'm the best at everything,"

Well, there was only one way to get him to shut up.

Reaching up, I grab his hair and pull his head down harshly, smacking our lips together. I feel him smile against me and his hands are suddenly alive again, not limp like they were before. He slips his hands up my tang top, running his rough fingers over my almost healed wounds.

"Robin?" I asked, pulling back far enough to just be able to talk, Robin's lips hover just above my own, breathing heavily.

Robin's eyes softened and he bumped his temple against mine, pushing me down into the mattress.

"Beast boy…I," and he swallowed, seeming unsure if it where ok to ask me, "I want you, i-if you'll let me,"

Two weeks ago I would have turned him down. Last week I would have turned him down. But the thought of going to fight possibly the toughest villains we've ever faced, it brought my need to a flaring blaze. I wanted Robin as much as he wanted me, and I wasn't going to stop him.

"Just…don't be rough ok? I don't like it when people are rough with me,"

And he claimed my lips in a hot kiss, only breaking for a second,

"I won't don't worry,"

And suddenly I found myself under neither Robin, his tongue battling mine, his tender touch stroking me. I have to admit, I always wondered what this would be like, but I had no idea just how shy I was going to be.

Though, I stopped wondering quiet fast as Robin's hands pushed my tang top off, brushing over my chest.

"Ngh…Robin,"

But that's about it as his hands travel lower, brushing over my thighs. His lips biting and licking. Dimly, I wondered if he minded that I wasn't doing anything. That I was just lying here, clinging to him when he touches me…kisses me. But, it's hard to keeping thinking, with him stroking me, his lips sucking at my neck.

Time swings by and I can't even remember when he takes off his cloths and the rest of mine. All I can think about is the way his voice mummers low into my ear, soothing me as he slips a finger inside of me. I gasp, letting my eyes open wide at the new feeling. My fingers grasp the white sheets below me tightly, my body reaching up against Robin's.

He's so gentle with me, like he said he would be. He locks his fingers in mine as he stretches me, kisses me slowly when I arch up into him. I whimper when his fingers leave me and I struggle under him. He chuckles and bites my ear,

"Impatient with everything um?"

"R-Robin," god, he's not even doing anything! He's just looking at me.

But then he wasn't and a sharp pain flared through me. I gasp loudly, and my steel grip on the sheets left and gripped onto Robin's back instead. Though the pain didn't last long as he thrusts out and back into me, making me moan with need. I've never felt so alive, so hot. My moans quicken to sharp intakes of breath and his grunts above me become louder as he speeds up.

And all of a sudden the only thing I can think about is how he feels, moving within me. Making me dizzy with passion and heat. Sending my world to a place that reaches far past anything wonderful. I couldn't get enough, I wanted him to thrust harder, to move faster but every time I would try to tell him, my moans would cut me off, leaving my shaky voice to echo his name in the air.

And just when it was pleasurably hard to breath my vision flashed before my eyes and I let out a loud moan, pushing myself up against Robin, my body shaking. It wasn't until I came down from my high did I feel Robin pull out of me and drop next to me. His arms circle around me and pulled me close. His faint whisper close as I fall asleep.

"It's alright,"

* * *

When I awoke again, it was 5 in the afternoon and the time that I had been dreading had come. Robin wasn't in the room anymore and I sighed. It was time to get ready for the worst battle in my life. I swung my legs over and blushed; I had forgotten that I wasn't wearing anything. Grabbing my cloths that I had on last night I hurriedly put them on and headed out with a slight limp, god, my ass hurts. I'm gunna kill Robin. 

As I stepped out into the hallway I blinked, there he was now. Growling I yelled down to him,

"Robin!"

He stopped and turned to me with a smile. A smile that faded the second he saw the look on my face.

"Beast boy…eh…what-"

But he took off down the hall as I stepped toward him. No way in hell was I going to let him get away, not after what he did to me. Growling, that came out as a jaguar growl, I morphed into the said animal and took after him.

And that is how we ended up in the main room of this section of Atlantis, on the floor shoving each other with wide smiles. We had been waiting for Bumble-Bee, Aqualad, and Speedy to get here ad it was taking awhile.

By the time they walked into the room, Robin and I had gone from rough housing to heavily making out. Though, that ended quiet fast when Aqualad cleared his throat rather loudly. Robin and I pushed away from each other faster then the speed of light, and I ended up on the floor, on my already hurting ass. Well damn.

Robin cleared his throat and helped me up and all awkwardness and embarrassment faded as we dived straight into our plan.

We were to head to Titan's east tower and get our supplies, but it seems that Bumble-Bee and Speedy had done that while I was healing. Infact, it seems that the only thing that kept us from going back to fight was me. However, I found out that I wasn't the only thing keeping us here.

"Here," Bumble-Bee said, giving Robin coordinates to something, "I did what you asked and the closest thing I could find to a hideout is that right there. I had watched them return from there many times."

"Thanks, this will be a lot easier now," Robin, replied and he turned to me then. "We need to get you suited up, it's going to be a long fight, are you sure you're up for it,"

Hell no I'm not, but I would never let him know that,

"Dude! Are you saying I can't handle it?" anger is always the best way to get them to back off in times like this. He shook his head in alarm and chuckled when I smiled brightly at him, though inside, I was dying.

So Robin dragged me off and helped me get ready. Well, actually it was mainly talking to me about what and what not to do and by the time 7 o'clock rolled around; I was freaking pissed at him. I could feel my eye twitching as we walked down to the launch pad, to go back to our city that was probably over run by evil now.

"Robin! I know, stop babying me!"

He stopped talking suddenly and didn't reply and I recoiled to my self, great now he's mad at me.

Yeah, he was defiantly pissed at me, which is what I deiced when we entered the large room. Aqualad and Speedy were just finishing loading the ship up and Bumble-Bee turned to us, her hands resting on her hips.

"You boys ready to go get our titan's back?"

"You bet," Robin replied and I only nodded and smiled, my stomach was becoming uneasy. And then we were back in the sub that had brought us here, confidante and ready to fight, everyone but me that is. I sat in the back, staring out the window. I knew what was going to happen. I could feel it swimming in my blood, hear it in the back of my mind. Before this was over, someone was going to die and I wasn't going to let it be any one of my friends. I knew that it would be me that would be beaten to the darkness. After all Ruby and Nicolas wanted me, not the titans.

The surface came entirely too fast and the darkness that had been hidden wasn't hidden anymore. As the sub came up, a round of gasps echoed in the sub. Our city was in ruins, dark clouds looming above the fallen buildings. Rain poured, just like that night before. Our tower, Robins, and mine was the only thing standing tall. It was the only thing untouched, the only thing that looked like hope.

Aqualad stopped the sub by our small island that we lived on and we all climbed out. I stepped out into the darkness with fright, the rain soaking me in seconds. Aqualad and Speedy were searching in the side of the sub for something, while Bumble-Bee talked with Robin about who to go rescue first. I was listening in and out; my mind was on other things.

I wandered a little ways away from Robin and Bumble-Bee, staring up at the tower that I had called my home for the past couple of years. I was going to miss this place so much.

"Beast boy," I jumped at Robin's voice close to mine. I glanced at him to find that he was the only one next to me. Bumble-Bee was back explaining the plan to Aqualad and Speedy. We were to get Raven out first; it would be easier, seeing as she was one of the strongest of the titans.

Robin placed his hand on my shoulder, but I felt no warmth, it was still cold. I sighed, trying to keep myself together. It didn't matter though, my tears could fall and it would just look like rain.

"We need to go, we've waited long enough,"

And he turned, heading back down to the other titans waiting for us. I turn back to look at the tower, leaning above me, so strong and powerful. I wiped my eyes, even though it wouldn't do any good and before I turned to go to my fate I whispered the words that I knew was entirely too soon for such a younger person to say,

"Good-bye,"

* * *

O.o Sorry i took so long to up-date! Anyway, i hoped you enjoyed that! thanks for reading and please review! also, read the next chapter to find out if resucing Raven first was the best way to go and just what is in store for Beast boy? 

Thanks!


	9. Chapter 9 Rescue

Hey! Ok, so this story has taken a turn and this will be the last chapter of the story

however! there will be an Epilogue coming up that i will post on the story, so look for that!

thank you for reading my story, i had a lot of fun writing it and i'm going to have even more fun writing the Epilogue! YAY!

now,

Enjoy:)

* * *

Robin and I made our way through the city in the shadows, Aqualad, Speedy and Bumble-Bee heading in the other direction. Apparently, when I had been zoning out, Bumble-Bee brought up that it would be better if we split up and rescue two of the titans at the same time.

I disagree.

Running around in the rain, in the dark, it fed my fear inside until I was sure it would burst.

We were getting close; I could feel it, smell it. I could smell the blood, the mutation within Ruby and Nicolas. I shivered as Robin gave a quick nod to me, telling me that we had arrived.

It was deep in the slums of the city, in an old gothic looking mansion that had been abandoned for years. As we crossed toward the building among the shadows the shiver I had felt before came back, much stronger then before. Once inside, we met up with the other three surprisingly fast.

"Bumble-Bee," Robin whispered loudly and the dark skinned girl turned at her name. She gave a smirk when she spotted us and mention for the other to come over. However, neither Robin or Bumble-Bee got to say the first words, no it was Aqualad instead.

"Does this place creep any of you guys out too?"

Speedy rolled his eyes and whispered angrily at Aqualad,

"Stop being a chicken fish freak,"

I had to admit though; this place did give me the creeps. And the time when Raven let her fear out in the tower those years ago, it flashed before my eyes, the movie we had watched before sleep and the way we were all dragged into the darkness, only this time, it was for real.

Robin ignored them though and brought out his communicator,

"It looks like Raven is this way," he pointed to his right, "and Starfire and Cyborg are that way," and pointed to his left.

Bumble-Bee nodded and smacked both Speedy and Aqualad as they had begun to let their bickering get out of hand.

"Right, we'll go find Sparky and Starfire, you two get Raven,"

And with a short, serious nod, that was it, they were gone. Robin touched my arm and I turned, my body trembling. And if I could see my body shake, then Robin could sure feel it. He frowned at me and I imaged his eyes narrow in confusion and worry under neither his mask.

"You're trembling,"

"I'm fine,"

"Beast boy,"

"Really, I'm fine,"

But he came close to me and pulled me against him, whispering into my hair,

"Don't be scared it's ok, everything will be alright,"

"I know," I whispered against his neck. Yeah right, I know that everything _won't_ be alright. But I wasn't going to tell him that. He needed me to be strong and that was what I was going to be.

And then we were moving, jumping around quietly in the shadows of the moonlight whenever rain clouds would pass. The light didn't last long and it kept me thinking on how cold I am, on how cold I had been, even when Robin was holding me close.

As we got closer to Raven's signal the smell of fear drifted through me and I let it consume me. I let it build at my own, let it take me away.

As the moonlight drifted away again, Robin and I came to a door that had looked like it had been through a war.

"She's in here," and an explosive was placed on the door. If Ruby and Nicolas didn't know we were here, they would after the explosion. I held my ears and waited for the bright flash, which came sooner then I thought. After the smoke cleared, Robin and I cautiously stepped into the room. Turns out, the room was a lot bigger then what we had thought.

The ceiling was high and rusted chains drifted down from black bars that were not visible in the shadows. I could smell the blood that had dried some time ago on the walls, thankfully, none of it smelled like Raven.

I fallowed Robin as we walked slowly through the room, waiting for some sign of Raven at all. We passed through shadows, through moonlight, through the refection of chains, over dried blood, and yet, no Raven. Finally, we hit the other side. There, Robin let out a frustrated growl.

"She's here! The communicator says she is, but were-" but at that moment, I had leaned up against the wall and my shoulder fell into the brick as it moved. Chains moving echoed around the room, and something started to fall from the ceiling, fast. Fear shot through me ad I stood still, horror trapped within.

"Raven!" Robin yelled once the cloaked figure stopped, half hanging in the moonlight. And I gasped, realizing that it was Raven. Running toward her, Robin reached out and grabbed her, only to be snarled at. Raven lashed out as best she could in the chains that she was wrapped up in and didn't stop until Robin gave a yell.

"Raven!"

"Robin?" she asked, her voice so confused, and the red glow from her eyes left. Her hood hung over her head and Robin reached up and dropped it around her shoulders, reveling her face to be a bit scratched up, but otherwise fine. Robin gave her a happy smirk and began to unwind her from the chains.

"Are you hurt?"

"Seriously? No, a little banged up, yes,"

"Can you fight?"

"Yes,"

"Good, Beast boy and I-"

Though Robin didn't get to finish as she interrupted him.

"Beast boy!" she shouted and looked up at me, I guess she hadn't realized I was here, "No! Get out! You have to get out!" she yelled at me, struggling even more, now that her arms were free. Robin glared at her and growled with frustration as she more then once almost hit him.

"Raven, stop struggling," Robin commanded and she did, but she didn't stop talking. Her violet gaze held strong to me, fear in those large eyes, fear for me.

"Get out Beast boy! They'll get you!"

So they told her that it was I that they wanted. It didn't matter, they knew now that I was here. I could feel them coming. Hear their angry footsteps pounding down the halls. They would be here soon; they would come and take me to my death.

"I know," I whispered to her as Robin finished untangling her and she dropped lightly to her feet. Reaching out she grabbed my shoulders; her long nails digging into my skin.

"Go!" she whispered as Robin looked up at a loud bang from outsider. They were here. Robin saw Ruby's glowing hair and eyes and shuffled the three of us into a door that was near the wall switch.

"Shit, I didn't expect them to come that fast," Robin said as he looked the door shut. It wouldn't help though; Nicolas would have us out in no time. With the little time we had though, Raven turned to me and shouted angrily,

"Get out! Go!" and Robin turned to us, looking straight at me.

"It's you they want," he said, as if he had just figured it out. I thought he heard me back when we headed down to Atlantis for the first time. I guess I had just been imaging things that day after all.

"Yes, and if you don't go, they'll get you," Raven said. I shook my head, even if I did run, they would still find me. Outside, Ruby and Nicolas were trying to get in; the door was becoming very indented. Robin glanced at me after looking at the door,

"What do they want with you?"

But I never got to finish his question as darkness came drifting through the wall and I was suddenly in a cold, blood-stopping grasp of the shadows. It was strange and terrifying to see your friends fading away from you as you get sucked into the darkness.

"Beast boy!" was what I heard from both Robin and Raven before I was sucked into the dark and suddenly back into the other room, held tight against Nicolas. It wasn't long before Raven and Robin came bursting, anger flaming through them. I watched as Raven shot her dark magic toward us, watched as Robin ran in for a kick to Ruby.

Nicolas moved back and away from the fight, letting his wife battle alone. Not that I felt bad for her, no, I felt bad for Raven and Robin. I watched as Ruby banged them around, shooting magma from her eyes into Raven, pushing her against the wall. I watched as she slammed Robin down to he ground with her high heels.

I growled and struggled against Nicolas's hold. But he held me tight, with both the life like darkness and his scar covered arms.

"Now now Changeling, don't get too worked up, after all, do you really think they care about you?" his voice was cold and pierced my skin like needles that were frozen over. I've had enough of this and just as I was about to morph, a stinging pain was injected into my neck. I hissed and growled as I felt a needle dig into my neck, going deep into my vein. Poking, prodding, piercing.

Shit, oh shit, what did he inject into me? I tried to get away, I tired to morph, but I couldn't it failed. No, my blood ran cold. I couldn't change, I…I,

"Oh that's right, you're normal now. You were weak, even with your powers, but now, you'll die. No one wants a weak one around."

"No," and I struggled, feeling my energy being sucked away.

" Don't worry Gar, it's not permit. It'll wear off soon,"

But his voice that was laughing at me started to fade as a blinding pain shot through my body. It was something else, something I've never felt before and I screamed. I screamed so loud that it felt like my vocal cords were going to break open and squirt blood all over. Something was happening to me, something, and I looked down at my hands.

My gasp was echoed along with Robin's and Ravens. My skin…it was…pale…white…it was normal.

"No…" I whispered and looked up at the window across from me, the moonlight shinning my reflection. Staring back at me was…me, but not. My ears were no longer pointed, my hair no longer green…or skin. Instead, a creamy white face stared back at me, dark hair lay around my face and pale green eyes stared at me, without the look of something wild within. I was…normal.

At that moment, Robin through a disk at Ruby and it exploded in her face, distracting Nicolas for a moment. I felt his grip loosen on me and suddenly I was in a cold black magic sphere. The second I hit the ground I stumbled and Robin ran to me, catching me before I fell.

I trembled as Robin pulled me, running at top speed toward the door on the other side of the room, Raven fallowing, blasting the distracted villains. We ran were Aqualad, Speedy and Bumble-Bee had headed off to, Ruby and Nicolas close behind us. But they were closing in and suddenly; they were not top of us. Robin growled and moved me behind him, telling me to stay there. Raven went after Ruby as Robin went for Nicolas, but neither would win, they needed the others. Ruby and Nicolas were too strong.

I hated this, I couldn't do anything! I was useless…no.

_Useless… _

I was…

_Weak…_

No, god no. I couldn't do anything! Nothing at all, just stand here and watch as Robin got slammed into the ground, as Raven got tossed between the walls. I closed my eyes and grabbed my head, falling down to my knees, huddled in on myself. Just go away…please, just stop. I could hear Robin and Raven getting beaten. I could smell their blood leaking out.

Someone help…

"Argh! You bitch!" Ruby shouted and my eyes shot open, my head shot up. Starfire floated in front of Raven as she picked her self off the ground. Looks like Bumble-Bee and the others were successful.

"You wish to be burn to the death yes!" Starfire yelled back at her and immediately shot her with her star bolts. Ruby let out a yelp as Raven joined in with Starfire.

Behind me I heard Cyborg's deep voice and I saw his blaster shoot over me and straight at Nicolas, who had been giving Robin a run for his money. I could feel the light mist of water as Aqualad jumped over my crouched body and went straight for Nicolas. I heard Bumble-Bee's wings as she zoomed past me, going to help out Starfire and Raven. And the small ringing of Speedy's arrows shot around me, aiming for the both of them.

It looked like they had the upper hand, until Nicolas pushed Robin off of him, calling the darkness to rise from the ground. I watched as long vine like shadows reached out and grabbed at the titans. My eyes widened as Raven was yanked down along with Starfire, close to the large puddles of shadow that were growing quickly. I gasped, as Speedy and Cyborg were held tight around the waist, arms and legs and being dragged into the wall. As Bumble-Bee and Aqualad were hooked around their middles and being pulled from the ceiling.

But Robin, he was not wrapped in darkness, was not struggling to get free, because he was free, at least, from the darkness he was. Instead though, Nicolas was over him, holding him down with his hand wrapped tightly around Robin's neck.

My fists tightened and at that moment I didn't care if I didn't have any powers. I couldn't let Robin die. I searched looking for something, anything I could use. Something sharp, just one stab, one stab in the right place would bring Nicolas down.

I glanced up form my frantic search to see the titans trying to get free. Having success, only to be yanked back again. I had to be the one to save Robin. I had too. I didn't have much time though, as Robin was now held down tight on the floor, darkness crawling over him and Nicolas standing over him, smirking, a large thick needle pointing straight down at Robin. I glared at the floating object over Nicolas and I knew that if I was going to do something I had to do it now.

Looking around me one last time, I spotted one of Robin's sharp arrow cutters. Pushing myself from the ground, I grabbed it, knowing that Ruby wouldn't get in the way, for Raven was keeping her busy, even though Raven was quickly fading into the dark shadows.

Nicolas smirked; he knew that getting rid of Robin would break me. But I wasn't about to let that happen. I ran fast, my feet pounding, my heart racing. My vision flashed to a dream I had weeks ago, a dream of this very day. I growling, I pushed myself harder as Nicolas raised his hand, letting the needle slid forward. No, I was going to make it, I had too.

And suddenly, things went from slow motion to fast, I heard Starfire and Cyborg yell my name, heard Bumble-Bee and Raven gasp, saw Aqualad and Speedy struggle. And darkness flashed as I stepped over Robin, and thrust the sharp tool deep into Nicolas's chest, piercing his heart.

I trembled as his tall forum stumbled backward form me and fell to the ground, his eyes lifeless. I heard Ruby's scream of pain as she saw her husband fall to the ground. I saw the darkness leave my fellow titans and I felt Robin's warm grip catch me as I fell to the ground.

He caught me in a swift motion, and held on tight, kneeling on the ground. I frowned something wasn't right, he was upset. Was he mad, because I wasn't me anymore, because I was useless? I choked and tasted blood on my lips.

"Robin…"

And Robin's grip tightens on me and he reached up and pulled his mask from his face, tears were lingering in his eyes. My brow frowned in confusion. Behind us, the titans had secured Ruby so she couldn't get free. I heard them run over and I heard them gasp. They really need to get used to Robin not wearing a mask, it's not like it was permanently attached to his face.

My gaze was brought back to Robin's face though as tears dropped onto my face. Was he so angry that he was moved to tears? Was he so upset with me? I opened my mouth, but my voice was caught on the blood stuck in my throat and I choked again, my own tears spilling. Don't be mad, please, don't be mad Robin…

"Don't…mad…" I finally got out and as my vision became dimmer I frowned. Glancing down at myself my eyes widened slightly. The needle, the one that Nicolas was going to kill Robin with, it was stuck in my stomach. I was dying…

"Robin…" I whispered and he clutched me harder,

"Hold on Beast boy, just hold on,"

I smirk at that one; I'm not much of a beast anymore am I? And as for the holding on thing, I don't think that's going to happen very well. My vision is fading and my tears are falling faster. I looked up at Robin with blurry vision, felt the tears dropping quickly on my face, felt his body shaking.

I'm sorry Robin, please don't be mad…

I'm sorry….

I…

The darkness, it's coming faster, my vision fading, my breath losing.

I'm…

"I'm sorry…"

And everything went dark, the faint yell of Robin,

"BEAST BOY!"

and I was cold.

* * *

ok, i know, before you all start yelling at me for doing this, there is going to be an aftermath chapter! so don't worry, the story is notcompletelydone. Anyway, thank you for reading and please review. AND also read the Epilogue, which will be nice and LONG, to find out if Beast boy is really dead. or you could just stop here and be like, no, i want him dead. >. 

owari

p.s. look for my other stories that i will be posting soon and please, pretty please read my epilogue:) it's been fun!


	10. Epilogue Starting Over

Hey guys! WOOT! finally! it's done! the story is COMPLETE! thank you so much for reading, i hope you have enjoyed the story! please review! this is the last chapter! Sorry for the wait!

ENJOY!

Note: Also, i would like to apologize for the 8's as the stroy breaker, it seems that my "add ruler" is not working right now...hope the 8's don't distract you too much!

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Epilogue-Starting Over

_"BEAST BOY!"_

_Robin held onto the fallen boy tightly, his tears dropping onto the changeling's face. His body shook as the body in his arms grew cold fast. Behind him, the titans rushed to see the damage. Starfire gasped as she spotted Beast boy, curled in Robin's arms as the said teen held Beast boy close, tears falling fast from his unmasked eyes. _

"_No…" Raven whispered and Speedy and Aqualad glanced at the group with sad eyes._

_Cyborg though kneeled before Robin though and gently took Beast boy from Robin's arms._

"_He's still got a pulse, if we can get him back to the tower, we could save him,"_

_And the titans traveled back to the tower as fast as they could. Robin fallowing with a dead look in his eyes, his mask forgotten on the floor of the old building. It was still pouring out, but the stinging rain was forgotten as they rushed to save their friend._

_But the night was fading fast and so was Beast boy. And with no transportation other then by feet, they wouldn't make it in time. Cyborg was the first to realize this and glanced around for any large vehicle. To save Beast boy they would have to steal a car, something Cyborg thought he would never do._

_But he really didn't have a choice, it was either steal or let Beast boy die. Looking down at the fast fading boy in his arms, Cyborg gritted his teeth. They needed to get to the tower right now, or Beast boy would be lost forever. Stopping, Cyborg yelled up at Raven._

"_Hey Rae! Think you could get that car to start with your magic?"_

"_You want me to steal a car?" she asked, floating down to him as he stood next to a large SUV._

"_Yes,"_

"_But Cyborg!" Starfire cut in, the rest of the titans stopping behind them, "we do not do evil,"_

"_He's dying! If we don't get him back to the tower right now, he'll be gone, is that what you want!" _

"_Enough, it's just one car, we'll return it later," and with that said Raven jump-started the car and they headed to the tower._

_Arriving at the tower was just minutes away, yet, it was the seconds that mattered. Beast boy, who was still suffering the effects of the drug, looked paler with every shallow breath. He wasn't going to make it, there was no time. Nothing could stop the death that was upon him. Robin, who sat next to him, leaned down over him and rested his temple against Beast boy's, whispering gently as a new wave of tears was held back._

_But it didn't matter; Beast boy was dead before they even reached the tower._

Shooting up in a cold sweat, Robin tried to steady his breath as best he could. His dream, the same one, he'd been having for days now. And it was a lie; Beast boy was all right, at least, as all right as someone recovering from a neither death could be. Swinging his feet to the cold floor of the titan tower, Robin let his eyes adjust to the darkness that plunged the building. Midnight, it was only midnight. Robin glared at the red digital numbers that flashed in the darkness. He had only been asleep for two hours and had the same dream twice already.

Slipping on a black t-shirt and black sweat pants, Robin poked his head into the hallway, making sure no one was walking by. Just because he had went to bed already didn't mean the others had. Though, he doubted anyone but Cyborg was up. But just in case, the dark-haired leader walked quietly down the quiet hall, heading to the medical rooms.

As he entered the dark rooms, Robin did infact find that Cyborg was still up. Suddenly very aware that he hadn't put his mask on, Robin felt shyness he didn't realize he had creep up. Beast boy seeing his eyes was one thing, but for the others to look at him directly without the mask, it was such a …naked feeling.

But Beast boy was more important then some stupid mask. So, keeping his embarrassment hidden, Robin entered the overly clean room. It wasn't as dark in the medical room; the large window allowed the moonlight to shine in, that and Cyborg's Tec was glowing brightly.

"Robin!" Cyborg gasped quietly, he hadn't expected anyone to be in the medical rooms this late. Usually he would have gone to bed by now, but he wanted to make sure that Beast boy was alright. And well, it was more of a shock to see the teen standing out of uniform and without a mask.

"Hey, how is he holding up?"

But the shock wore off quickly as his attention was turned back to Beast boy, who lay sleeping next to him, wires hooked up to him.

"He's doing better, still quite a ways until he's fully healed though, he won't be going out on missions any time soon,"

Robin nodded, of course Beast boy won't, it was too dangerous for right now. Stepping close, Robin noticed that the human forum of Beast boy had vanished completely and he was now staring at the lover that he was used to. The pale skin was no longer present, but the light, pleasant green was instead. His ears were no longer round and his hair no longer a dark brown.

Cyborg noticing that Robin was staring at Beast boy smirked, " nice to see him as himself uh? That drug that Nicolas had given him, it didn't start wearing off until Monday. I didn't think it would take this long for him to change back."

"It's because of the injury, it slowed down the process because his mind could only do so much at once,"

Cyborg stared at Robin with a dumbfounded look. "Uh, yeah, man," but a yawn interrupted Cyborg's confusion and the oldest titan glanced at the clock.

"Well, I'm off to bed, you should sleep too, Robin. He'll be alright by himself,"

"Yes, I know, I just want to check on something's myself, if that's ok with you,"

Cyborg yawned again and headed for the door, waving a good night to the leader of the titans, "yea, whatever you want," and he was gone, leaving Robin and Beast boy alone.

Once Robin was sure that they really were alone, he carefully sat on the edge of the medical bed, placing one hand over Beast by's body to rest on the mattress, his arm hovering over the sleeping boy. It was hard to not freak out and hold him close and kiss him and cuddle him when the others were around. After all, they had no idea that him and Beast boy had gotten together, infact, as far as Robin knows, they didn't even know that he swung that way.

Sooner or later though, they would have to tell them and however they reacted was something Robin didn't know. But no matter, what, they were still a team and they would still have to work together, even if thy disliked what they two boys were doing. Sighing, Robin leaned down and rested his forehead against Beast boy's,

"Hey," he whispered loudly and Beast boy's eyes fluttered and the younger titan gave a little moan and turned his head slightly, "wake up," Robin whispered again, chuckling. This time, Beast boy cracked open an eye and stared up at Robin with a hazy green stare.

"Robin?" he asked, his voice hoarse and quiet.

"Hey,"

Beast boy frowned up at him,

"You know," he whispered, reaching for Robin's hand and tangling his fingers with Robin's, "Cyborg will start to notice the lack of sleep I'm getting,"

Robin chuckled and pressed a light kiss to Beast boy's lips.

"Does that mean you don't want me to come and see you anymore?"

"NO!" and Beast boy shot up, thinking Robin was being serious. However, moving so quickly tore at his wounds and Beast boy let out a loud yelp and fell forward into Robin's chest, trembling as pain racked his body. Robin immediately wrapped his arms tight around Beast boy, holding him in a safe embrace

"Shh, sorry,"

"Please don't…"

"I won't," and the short silence bored into both of their minds before Robin spoke again, "you know, we'll have to tell them sooner or later and I would prefer if it were sooner,"

Beast boy sighed, Robin was right. But they had to have some idea, after all, Raven and Cyborg knew that Beast boy loved Robin, everyone heard him say it too the dark-haired leader, even Starfire. What they didn't know was that Robin had a positive reaction to it. But again, they had to have some idea. The titans would have to know and the sooner they did, the better it would be, for the team. Best boy agreed to that point, but after that, he knew he wasn't ok with it. Telling them would be the best for the team, yes, but for him?

No, it would be the worst. Starfire would glow with hatred for him. Everyone knew that she loved Robin, and there was no way that she would blame this on Robin, he was too perfect, to much of the boy wonder.

So deep down, Beast boy felt a sinking feeling, a feeling that turned his stomach to shreds, turned his heart to stone and stopped his voice from speaking. There was no way he would tell Robin what he thought, not ever. Robin needed to count on him, and so far, that hadn't been happening really. He needed to let Robin know that the team was the most important thing, even more important then their relationship, their love. Because the city needed them.

Because the city needed Robin.

Curling tighter against Robin as the older male laid down with Beast boy in his arms, the changeling sighed to himself. He knew that this couldn't last, as long as Robin was the leader, the hero, and the famous one. As long as Robin held everything before him, this relationship would fall and crumble. Beast boy could feel it in his bones already, it was happening, the team was put first. And he got that, the team was always first priority, but Beast boy found himself being pushed past second and third as well.

Robin only came to see him at night, after the days work was done. Not just the crime fighting, but also the research and the updates that he sent to Gothem. And some nights, when Slade had attacked, Robin wouldn't come see him at all. And Best boy was left to wake up in the dead of night, feeling cold and forgotten. Would it have really mattered if he died? Sometimes, he really didn't know. The titans could defiantly get along with out him; they've proved that much.

"All right," Beast boy whispered, telling himself that he would be all right with this, but knowing that it was a lie. And that lie would tare him apart until nothing left of him was standing. He feared, that he still might die yet, just not in the same way as before.

* * *

Beast boy woke early the next day, alone. But, what else was he to expect? Robin would always leave the minute he fell asleep. But right now, Beast boy could care a less. Today was the day. The day that he was allowed to get the hell up and out of the medical room. He had found himself in the same room too many times for his liking. It was going to be a while before Beast boy let himself get that beat up again. 

Swinging his legs to the floor Beast boy couldn't help but smile insanely wide. Finally, after two weeks of boredom, he could get up and do something. Infact, he was so happy that the small pinch of heartache left right away. He didn't have to wonder if Robin was going to come see him, he could see Robin whenever he wanted now.

First though, he was going to take a shower. A nice long, hot shower. And then after that, he was going to sit around in comfy lose cloths and eat all the freaking junk he wanted. Cyborg had refused to give him anything but healthy the whole two weeks, and Beast boy was going beyond insane without at least some amount of sugar. And as for the comfy cloths? Well, Robin and the others had made it quite clear that he was to not go on any missions until they say so, and that would not be anytime soon. So what's the point in lying around in tight fitting cloths when you aren't going to be doing anything?

Limping slightly, Beast boy slowly made his way to his room, he didn't want to tare anything and be sent back to stare at the ceiling all day. It felt good to just walk around the tower, his home. Even if it was dark and silent. Beast boy shivered, remembering the time when Raven's fears got lose and took everyone down with a monster from a movie. He was eerily reminded of that moment right then. However, the shelter of his door came into sight and Beast boy yelped happily. He missed his room so much, somewhere that he could hide in and be what the others thought he wasn't. A place that held all of his secrets and fears, and all of his lies.

He let out a sigh of relief as the cool air of his room swam around him and embraced him. Slipping off his tang-top, Beast boy headed to the small bathroom to the right. As much as he wanted to just sit and look at his room that he hadn't been in for at least a month, he still wanted a shower. He let out another sigh as the warm water hit his shoulders and rolled gracefully down his chest and stomach. Letting his head drop back, Beast boy smiled into the falling water, enjoying the fell of it caressing his eyelids, his cheek's, his lips. It was like a kiss…

From Robin.

Opening his eyes, Beast boy looked down at the ground, things, never really happened with Robin. Sure, they had their one time, and a few make out sessions here and there. But Robin and never told him that he loved him back. Fear gripped into the green boy's heart, was Robin just using him?

And suddenly, the shower seemed to over take him, wanting to drown him. His legs felt weak and his body shook. He knew that was most likely over reacting, but still.

He hoped not. He couldn't live without Robin, not now, not after he finally had him.

Beast boy's shower and depressing thoughts were put on hold though as a piecing scream erupted throughout the tower.

Starfire. It was always Starfire.

Beast boy jumped, hitting his head on the bar as he scrambled out of the shower. Jumping around his room, he pulled cloths on in a hurry and ran back out the door once again.

Rushing out the door, Beast boy slid to a stop minutes later in front of the main room, all Titans staring at him with bug eyes as the doors opened. And without a warning or an explanation, Beast boy found himself tackled to the ground by none other then Starfire.

"Beast boy! Do not worry us please!"

"What?" he was completely confused. Worry? He didn't do anything; he just went to take a shower. Looking up at the other titans Beast boy gave them a look of desperation to get Starfire off of him. Robin chuckled and pulled Starfire off of Beast boy.

Sitting up the changeling ran his fingers through his longer wet hair, pulling lightly at the end as he realized that the small tackle and sent his wounds aching. Though the aching feel was distracted Beast boy found himself lifted up and dropped onto the comfortable couch, fingers poking and prodding him. Looking up at Raven as Cyborg checked his wounds, Beast boy sighed again.

"You were supposed to wait until Cyborg checked your injuries before leaving the medical room, you know?" Raven said glancing over at Starfire and Robin, who was hugging the girl as she tried to calm herself. Ever since the battle and Beast boy's near death, the titans had taken it upon themselves to make sure that they knew where Beast boy was at all times, Starfire more then anyone. And every time he would disappear, she would send herself into a nervous wreck, thinking that he was taken away or died and the others didn't tell her or, well you get the point.

However, Robin was the one she went to for comfort and Robin never pushed her away. And the pain in Beast boy's heart was telling him that his jealousy was getting the better of him. He shouldn't doubt Robin like that; he knew that the boy wonder would never cheat on him…right?

Thinking this, Beast boy glanced over his shoulder and laid his eyes on Robin and Starfire. Starfire clutched tightly to Robin's slightly shorter forum, slowly getting over from the shock that Beast boy had disappeared so suddenly.

"Beast boy!" Raven said more harshly, trying to get the younger males attention. From the flinch that she received though, she knew she had gotten his attention the wrong way, but no matter, as long as he was listening. "Did you hear anything I asked you?"

Beast boy choose not to answer her and looked up at Cyborg as he stood.

"I'm good right?"

"Yeah BB, just don't do anything too rough ok"

"Sounds good to me,"

And just like that it was over. Raven stalked away to her room, upset that she was interrupted in her books, Cyborg went straight for the kitchen that was a mere 5 feet away and Starfire finally let go of Robin, though the two of them went off to do some sort of research.

"or something else," Beast boy whispered to himself.

"Ya say something BB?" Cyborg asked and Beast boy jumped. Stuttering, Beast boy shook his head,

"N-no."

He would have to make sure that he stopped talking to himself out loud.

After breakfast, which Beast boy complained about the meat that Cyborg was eating, the group got called away on a bank robbery, nothing major. Yet, they had been gone for a long time and Beast boy had found himself alone in the large tower.

He had played video games, watched his favorite shows, listened to half of his CD's, played around on the computer in Cyborg's room, re-bandaged his wounds, eaten an early dinner and even read a book that he snuck out of Raven's room. The titans were still not back and the day was quickly turning into evening, the sun lowering in the blue sky.

Beast boy sighed and stood from the couch, carefully placing Raven's book on the seat. He climbed up on the foot wide ledge and looked out the great glass windows that showed the city on the right and the ocean on the left, both running for as long as the eye could see. The sun reflected off the millions of windows and the ocean waves, the sky turning dark were the sun was farthest from.

It was beautiful and Beast boy felt an odd wave of emotion float through him. The memory of watching the sunsets on the beach with his mother before she died. The heartache when his fathers voice floated through his mind, bidding him a goodnight. He felt happy and at peace, yet sad at the same time. He wondered if things would still be the same if his parents had died.

He wondered if he would turn out to be who he was today, who ever that was. Beast boy didn't know anyway, he was losing himself again, like he always did every couple of years. And he always found himself changing, but when would it stop? When would he knew that he was really himself, someone he was comfortable with, someone that he knew would allow him to be happy with himself. Beast boy just couldn't ever image that, at least, nowhere in the near future.

If only he hadn't gotten sick back then…if he had been more careful. He could still have his creamy smooth skin and dark brown hair and bright hazel eyes, if only he hadn't gotten sick back in Africa. But he did and the mutation was now a part of him forever, no matter how much he hated it. All though, he didn't always hate it, just times like this, when he was alone and stared at his reflection.

He often wondered why the disease had infected him in the first place, it was only known in animals, how come he was infected, why him?

Beast boy sighed and turned away from the window, he needed to keep his mind off the past. There was no way he could find the person he was if he dwelled on the past too much.

"Hey,"

And Beast boy fell down from the ledge and onto the floor with a dull ache all over his body. Robin's shadow fell over him, his hair wet and hanging around his face, his cloths torn and a nicely cut scratch ran across his left cheek. Beast boy frowned; he thought that it was just a bank robbery.

Taking the offered hand from Robin, Beast boy stood, ready with a question.

"What happened? I thought it was just a bank robbery?"

" It was, but Ruby was the one who did it,"

Beast boy froze at the name, that's right, Ruby hadn't died. They had left her sitting in the cold dark gothic building, crying over her fallen husband's body. They would have to get her in jail as soon as possible, but it didn't seem like that would be too hard. After all, she was really the only threatening villain left in Jump City. After the Brother Hood of Evil was defeated, all the villains that the brain and brought together was still frozen back in the middle of nowhere.

"Is everyone else alright?"

"Starfire is pretty banged up, I'm worried about her. Usually she doesn't get hurt that bad,"

Beast boy pulled away from Robin's arms that had wrapped around him earlier and sighed sadly.

"You should go help Cyborg with her then, if he's injured as well,"

And Robin gave Beast a strange look of confusion, but didn't get to voice it as Beast boy continued.

"Besides, she'll be happy if you are there and you need to get patched up too, that looks like it needs stitches," Beast boy mentioned the cut on Robin's face and then the changeling just pasted Robin, heading out to go to his room.

It left Robin cold and alone in the dark room. Something with Beast boy was off; the boy was being so…different. It was something that Robin couldn't place, but he didn't like it. Sighing, the leader of the titans group headed down to the medical lab. Beast boy was right; he was going to need stitches.

As he wandered into the room, Robin heard Raven arguing with Cyborg loudly.

"If you were paying attention then we wouldn't be this banged up,"

"Me? Raven, you are the one who threw the desk on me,"

"You got in the way, I didn't aim it at you because I wanted too, I was trying to hit her,"

Robin sighed and tuned them out, reaching for the bandages, he didn't really feel like dealing with his team mates right now, all he wanted was to cuddle with his younger green lover and maybe get some food sometime this evening.

And he was in and out without even talking to the others, just getting weird glances as he walked around the room, gathering what he needed.

He patched his arm up the best he could as he walked down the dim hallways toward Beast boy's room. He wasn't going to give up that easily, he was going to find out what was bothering him, no matter what it took.

The soft glow under Beast boy's door told Robin that the younger male hadn't gone to sleep. Smiling, Robin knocked on the door as he bit at the bandage wrapping, tearing it off so he could tape it down. And he was doing so as Beast boy opened the door.

"Er, what are you doing?"

"Dressing myself,"

"Uh…Robin," Beast boy stared; he was at a loss for words. Why Robin was here, dressing his wounds and not having Cyborg do it was beyond him. And he should be with Starfire anyway; the girl was probably worried sick.

"Well, come on, let me in," and Robin pushed past Beast boy, tearing bandage tape with his teeth once again. Beast boy reached up and grabbed Robin's arm and the small tape that he had ripped.

"You shouldn't be doing this yourself, dude. You could mess it up,"

"Thanks, I'm glad I know now that I can't take care of myself," Robin said playfully, but Beast boy wasn't in the mood.

"Fine whatever," and he taped up the bandage and dropped Robin's arm quickly. Robin frowned. Usually Beast boy wouldn't get mad; there was defiantly something wrong now. Robin sighed, perhaps now wasn't the best time to tell Beast boy that the others knew about hem, but he was going to anyway. Robin was always one to beat around the bush.

"I told them,"

"What?"

"About us, I told them this morning, before Starfire went to go check on you,"

Beast boy turned and glared up at Robin,

"I thought we were going to tell them together,"

"Yes, but I thought this was better," and Robin wrapped his arms around Beast boy, holding him close, " I could see it in your eyes when we talked about it, that you were uncomfortable with telling them,"

And Beast boy melted. He couldn't be mad at Robin for trying to help him. For thinking about him and what it would be like, the awkwardness.

"Robin…" and Beast boy gently took Robin's hand and led him over to his bed, gently pushing him down to sit. Grabbing the wrapping in Robin's hands, Beast boy pushed aside the dark hair to see the clean cut more clearly on Robin's face.

"You know, I can do that myself,"

"Yeah and screw up your face, I don't think so man,"

Robin smirked as Beast boy carefully touched the open wound, afraid that Robin would lash out in pain. Robin, though, didn't, but reached out and drew Beast boy close, placing feather-light kisses on the boy's exposed neck and shoulder. Beast boy frowned; it wasn't easy stitching Robin up like this, especially when the older teen was doing things like that.

"R-Robin, stop it, I'm trying to do this right,"

Sometimes Beast boy wondered if Robin really was as mature as he acted, because right now, he wasn't. The younger changeling let out a yelp as he felt Robin's rough hands slip around his waist and grab his ass, pulling the boy even closer.

" I thought you were tired?" Beast boy frowned, but contained to finish up on Robin's stitches.

"I am," Robin whispered, his lips hovering over Beast boy's belly button, his soft creamy green skin showing.

"Grr, then stop that," and Beast boy gave Robin's wound a light hit as the older male slipped his hands around his inner thighs, keeping Beast boy's legs spread slightly.

Robin though ignored the slight sting and slowly inched his hands upward, making Beast boy cry out in shock. The older leader wasn't planning on doing anything, but that didn't mean he couldn't tease Beast boy for a bit.

Pulling Beast boy even closer, Robin smirked and licked his lips, looking up at Beast boy with his blue eyes full of lust. Or you know, maybe he wouldn't just tease Beast boy.

"You know," Robin whispered, moving his hands to slid up Beast by's shirt, "I'll be careful,"

And Robin didn't expect the reaction that he got. Beast boy growled the second those words left Robin's mouth and the younger male pushed away. Stepping back into the shadows, pain in his eyes, his body shaking. Robin frowned and stood, stepping toward the shaking boy.

"Beast boy wha-"

"Is that all you want?" Beast boy cut him off, his voice small and quiet. He held his head down, keeping Robin from seeing the tears in his eyes, "is sex all you want?"

"What gave you that idea?"

"Its ok…I guess, I mean, everyone needs some sort of release right?"

How suddenly things went downhill, Robin had no idea and the pain in his chest told him to fix things as Beast boy's eyes filled with tears.

"No, Beast boy,"

"No really, I get it. The city needs you, the team does, and Starfire does. And well, lets face it, I'm not everyone's favorite person, but I love you and…" Beast boy wiped at the tears in his eyes and swallowed, " even though I'll never be first in your eyes, or even something, I still love you,"

And Robin's pain went from his chest throughout his entire body, raging his bones and muscles on fire. He did this, did this to the person he cared about the most, the person he loved. He hadn't shown just how much he needed Beast boy, how much he cared. Beast boy was right, about one thing at least, Robin had been putting everything before him. The missions, the city, the villains, his research, even the other titans.

And knowing from experience, from seeing it happen to someone else, Robin knew that it was time to put a stop to it. He had seen Bruce fall apart from relationships because of his heroic hobbies. Because he had spent more time on playing the hero then being a good partner. And Robin had vowed that he wouldn't do that, and yet, he had.

What had he done? How could he just ignore it? Ignored Beast boy?

"No, Beast boy,"

"Really, it's ok…" and Beast boy stepped back into the shadows even farther, toward the door. Tears were streaming down his face, his green eyes full of pain and yet an understanding that was false.

And just like that, Beast boy was gone; he fled his own room, whispering quietly as the door closed,

"Feel better…"

After that Beast boy avoided Robin for days. And the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. Beast boy healed from his wounds and started missions again. Though, it took sometime for the youngest member of the titans to regain his strength. With so much time out from crime fighting, he had lost his stamina and strength. He had to retrain and push himself hard for the first couple of weeks.

The other titans noticed the change in both Robin and Beast boy. Both of them distant and quiet. Robin with drew into his research and missions even more. Beast boy grew quiet and didn't bother whining about losing video games. He didn't even make a comment on food when Cyborg cooked meat in front of him.

And every night Beast boy would let his tears fall and wish that Robin would come and hold him, kiss him, and let him that everything was alright. And at that same time, Robin would sit awake, staring at the white wall across form his bed, willing himself to go to Beast boy, but in the end, fail for fear of messing up.

And that's how things went for a long time. It was the same even as the nights grew longer; the weather colder and soon winter was upon the titans. It was a week before Christmas when the first snowfall came and as kids got out for Christmas break, it seemed that the villains also took off for Christmas.

It was also when Robin had gotten to the point of breaking. But he wasn't going to, infact; he wasn't going to let this happen any longer. Even if he had to knock Beast boy out and tie him to a chair, Robin was going to get the youngest titan back, no matter what.

So, on the 20th, Robin spent the whole day in the city, by himself, Christmas shopping. And he mainly went out for Beast boy, but it was also a good time to look for everyone else in the tower. This was the first Christmas that Starfire actually fully understood the meaning and the titans decided to actually celebrate it more then they usually did, like when they were with their parents, before they ever became titans.

With five days till the joyous holiday, the other titans tried as hard as they could to put a smile back on Beast boy's face. They dragged him out to help decorate the tower. Pushed him out into the snow to have snow fights and make snow angels and snowmen. They shoved gallons of hot coco into his slender hands and blasted Christmas music so loud that the city could here it loud and clear.

And even though Beast boy's spirits did seem to lighten a bit, he still wasn't well…Beast boy. Although things seemed a bit better between him and Robin. They no longer were quiet around eachother. And they could have a good time in each other's presence, but there was always that awkward feeling hanging in the air when everyone was silent.

The titans deiced to decorate the tree on Christmas Eve, when the city was glowing in the night and the crisp air was still. And as it became closer to the 24th, the titans became even more excited, even Raven.

On the 23rd, Beast boy had disappeared from the tower altogether, just gone. And Robin feared that he had left the team. But his arrival at 9 pm eased his worries. Starfire and Cyborg though had surrounded him the minute he got in, asking where he had been and what he had bought. Of course, the asked what he had bought more often. Almost adults the titans may have been, but they still loved to get Christmas presents, after all, they were still teenagers. Beast boy though only shook his head and smirked, saying they would have to wait until Christmas morning. And with that, he headed to bed, wishing everyone sweet dreams, even Robin.

Robin woke the next morning to the crisp chill of newly fallen snow. That feeling of excitement, the calming silence of the sparkling, untouched blanket of white. And of course, the joy of Christmas Eve. And even though the floor was cold to his touch, Robin wondered down to the main room happily, dressed in his black sweat pants and long-sleeved shirt. He had considered putting his mask on, but Beast boy's gentle voice telling him good night just hours before kept him from even reaching for it.

Today was the day that Robin was going to get Beast boy back. Only, he had to figure out when was the perfect time. Yawning widely, Robin ran his hand through his un-jelled hair, only to have it fall back in front of his face, perhaps it was time for a hair cut.

The dark haired male couldn't help another yawn as he walked into the main room; food floating it's way to his nose. Though, the surprise was who was cooking. Beast boy stood over the stove clad only in dark red sweat pants and fuzzy white slippers. Robin frowned; it was awfully cold to be walking around without a shirt on. So, before heading over to the kitchen area, Robin checked to see it the heat was on. Finding that it wasn't, Robin quietly clicked it on.

Beast boy's ears twitched at the sound and he glanced over his shoulder, only to blush and look back at the food cooking in front of him. He heard Robin walk closer and soon he felt the older male's body heat on his back.

"Hey," Robin whispered, his voice low and husky. Beast boy blushed and shyly glanced back at Robin.

"Hi…"

"Aren't you cold?"

"A little…"

"I turned on the heat,"

"Thank you," Beast boy whispered, fearing that if he talked any louder, Robin would leave. It was quiet after that though and Beast boy felt tears in his eyes as he thought Robin had left.

"Don't cry,"

And Beast boy jumped, letting out a small yelp. Robin had moved next to him, bending down to check what was inside the oven. When he stood back up though, he had noticed the tears lingering in the younger boy's eyes. Frowning, Robin reached out and whipped a tear away,

"Please, don't cry…Gar,"

Beast boy stood still, his body shaking as the tears fell. Maybe…he had been wrong, and Robin really did care? Glancing up at Robin, Beast boy gave him a small smile. It wasn't very convincing though with tears running down his face.

"Aw, shit," and Robin grabbed Beast boy, pulling him against his chest, holding him tight. The minute Beast boy hit Robin, he clutched tightly to his clothed chest, fighting his tears from falling.

"You didn't have to make breakfast you know," Robin said after awhile. He hadn't expected to see a real ham cooking in the oven; Beast boy must be dying here. The only thing that Beast boy hated worse then eating meat was cooking it, but here he was cooking for the rest of them on Christmas Eve. And not only that but eggs and hash browns as well. And he was cooking for five of them, one of which could eat the entire breakfast himself.

"I-I know," Beast boy whispered, tucking his head into Robin's shoulder, embarrassed, "I wanted too…it's Christmas…sort of…."

Robin laughed and patted Best boy's head, running his fingers through the longer strains. The younger titan had let it grow out again and was now hanging nicely around his ears, and eyes. It was untidy, like Robins, but shone with thickness and health altogether. He missed this, just holding Beast boy, how could he have ever made such a mistake?

"You know, Beast boy," Robin started, pulling away a little so he could look at Beast boy's face, "I've missed this, missed us,"

And the hopeful look in Beast boy's face nearly broke Robin's heart.

"Really?"

"Really, I'm sorry I wasn't a good boyfriend, but if you want we could try again you know?" and Robin leaned down and bumped Beast boy's nose with his.

"I-I do…want to try again,"

Robin smiled and hugged Beast boy tight, there was no way in hell he was going to mess it up this time.

"Gar…I know I never told you this but I lov-"

"Good morning!" but Robin's words were caught in his throat as Starfire and Cyborg burst into the main room, smiling happily, giggling, and jumping around. Beast boy and Robin parted fast but both boys gave eachother a gentle look of understanding before greeting their teammates.

"Morning guys!" Beast boy said, his mood suddenly changing very quickly and after all, whose wouldn't? Not after what Robin had said, well almost said. Odd, how you could spend forever apart from someone but just one moment would bring you back together, all fights and hurt forgotten.

"Good morning Friend! Did you sleep well?"

And Beast boy glanced at Robin before answering Starfire, "yeah, I slept great,"

"Well that's all good and stuff, but I smell breakfast, now where is it?" Cyborg demanded, smiling widely as he sat down behind the small island counter top, smacking his fist down onto it.

"Sure sure, just keep your stomach in will ya," Beast boy said, turning off the stove and moving to get plates. "Robin, could you get the ham out?"

Robin smiled at Beast boy and did as he asked, placing the ham on the counter next to the stove,

"Want me to cut it too?"

"Yes please," Beast boy replied, shoving food onto plates for each titan. Meanwhile, Starfire floated slightly between Robin and Beast boy, confused.

"Beast boy,"

"Hmm?"

"You cooked the meat?"

"Yes,"

"I thought you are the vegetarian,"

"I am, just because I don't eat it doesn't mean I can't cooking it for my friends,"

"Oh," Starfire said, watching Robin as he cut the meat.

Cyborg laughed and brought Beast boy into a headlock as he placed a plate down in front of him.

"Thanks man, you don't know how much this means too me!"

"Aw, cut it out Dude!" and Beast boy tired to pull away from Cyborg's grip, but only got himself trapped even more. It felt good, being truly happy for the first time in awhile and Beast boy was glad that he didn't have to watch his friends try to cheer him up. It was Christmas Eve and that was no way to spend a holiday.

Finally getting free form his prison, Beast boy gasped for breath and glanced around, "Where's Raven?"

"I think she's still sleeping." Cyborg answered, drooling over the ham that Robin place onto the counter top, in front of him.

"Well then no one's eating until she wakes up," Robin said, smirking as Cyborg's face fell, the oldest titan would have to wait for his ham.

"Yes! We shall wait till Raven awakes from sleep! It would be rude not to Cyborg."

"Yeah, I'm waitin'" Cyborg growled at Starfire and half-heartily threw balled up napkin at her. She "eeped" and floated out of the way, laughing.

"Well you don't have to wait very long," Raven's monotone voice floated into the warm main room and Cyborg's grin was back.

"Hell yeah!" and Cyborg was in heaven.

As the titans began their meal, Beast boy smiled and sat quietly, only eating the eggs and hash browns. He was glad that things were starting to turn around, even though it happened quiet fast.

When the food was almost completely gone and everyone could barely eat anymore, Cyborg stood abruptly and gathered everyone's plate and dumped them into the sink.

"Who wants to go tree hunting!" he shouted, it was more of a statement rather then a question. Even if someone didn't want to go out in the crisp cold air and white snow, they would make them.

"Argh, in the cold?" Raven asked.

"What's with you? You don't like the heat, you don't like the cold…what do you like?" Beast boy asked, hands on his hips and on his toes, looking up at Raven.

"For you to not walk around in white fuzzy slippers,"

And the tower was full of laughter as Beast boy blushed from head to toe.

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By the time the titans got back onto the road it was around 5:30 and the sky was quickly filling with snow clouds. With a large Christmas tree hanging on top of the car, the five teens laid back in the car to rest, listening to Cyborg's music system play Christmas music. Starfire sat in front watching the top of the tree hit the car window shield with great amusement. Raven sat in back, behind Cyborg, talking to him when he wasn't freaking out about his car getting scratched by the tree.

And Robin and Beast boy sat next to Raven in the back, curled close together. When they had gone looking for a tree, it had taken three hours just to get out of the city and another hour to get to the tree farm. So, needless to say, Beast boy had a lot of pent up energy by the time they got there and gone running off the second the car had stopped.

And so the titans spent their day looking for the perfect tree and keeping Beast boy from falling into any large, snow-covered holes. Well, actually, it was more like Robin and Raven were looking out for Beast boy while Cyborg and Starfire looked for the tree.

Although they got the tree, they didn't seem to keep Beast boy from trouble. He had infact fallen into an unseen hole and had grabbed onto Robin to keep himself from falling, only, he ended up pulling the older boy in with him. So, by the time Cyborg and Starfire found Raven, Robin and Beast boy, all three of them were soaked with melted snow and their cheeks pink form the cold and both Robin and Beast boy with new cuts and scratches.

But now, as the sky darkened and the city lights came into view, both Robin and Beast boy were fast asleep, cuddled close to eachother. Infact, Raven had so much room in the back because Beast boy had somehow climbed halfway into Robin's lap and fell asleep with his face buried in Robin's shoulder.

"Shall we turn down the music? I do not wish to wake them," Starfire whispered as she glanced back at Robin and Beast boy though the rearview mirror. Raven's small smile met Starfire's gaze and Raven shook her head,

"I don't think so, the music was what put them to sleep. If anything, I would turn it up louder,"

Starfire giggled and gave the two boys a quick glance before turning her eyes back to the road in front of her.

"Yeah, leave them alone. It's nice that they are finally getting along,"

"Even though they got a little too friendly really fast," Rave pointed out as Cyborg gave a conspicuous look.

"I don't know, I mean Robin did tell us that they were together in that way,"

"Yes! Is it not wonderful? They are very cute together yes?"

"Uh," and Raven gave them a quick glance. Starfire was right, they sure were cute together. "Sure," not that she would let anyone know that she also thought that as well.

"Well, whatever happened, I'm glad its over. Living with them for the past couple months has been torture," Cyborg pointed out and the two girls nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, but now it's going to be a different kind of torture," Raven stated, looking out the window at the large snowflakes that started to fall. Cyborg groaned, he hadn't thought about that apparently. Starfire on the other hand giggled and smiled brightly.

"Great," Cyborg muttered, tightening his hands on the wheel.

"Wonderful!" and Starfire stared at the rearview mirror, willing Beast boy and Robin to wake up and start making out right then and there.

"Not going to happen Star," Raven said, crushing all of Starfire's hopes and dreams. Originally, she had been disappointed when Robin announced that him and Beast boy were together, but the disappointment went away rather quickly. And soon, Starfire found herself hoping to catch them together making out in the hallway, the kitchen, or even the work out room! This was no different. They still had three more hours to get back to the tower and that was three hours of a chance to see them make out, even though they were dead to the world right now.

And the car ride home went a lot like that. Robin and Beast boy snuggled close and sleeping, suffering from minor scratches and cuts from tree branches. Raven dosing every once in awhile and chatting with Cyborg and Starfire. And Starfire gazing longingly into the rearview mirror, hoping for the two lover boys to awake and suddenly be so very horny. And Cyborg, well, poor Cyborg just tried to ignore her the whole time and kept his concentration on the road and whatever Raven said when she spoke.

By the time they arrived at the tower, it was dark and a whole new wave of snow had fallen and still was sparkling clean and untouched. Starfire and Cyborg got the tree off the car and into the tower as Raven woke Robin and Beast boy, well more like Robin. Beast boy had just mumbled something and cuddled closer to Robin. So, seeing that Beast boy wouldn't wake up, Robin just carried him in, close behind the others, watching with amusement as Starfire had no difficulty bringing the large tree in by herself.

And threw all the laughing, giggling and crashing into things, Beast boy slept on, safe in Robin's arms. It wasn't until Cyborg and Raven got the tree up in it's stand and Starfire brought down all the boxes of ornaments and the rest of the Christmas decorations that they hadn't put up did Beast boy start to stir. The quiet murmur of the titans talking and shoveling around in the boxes for ornaments brought Beast boy to open his eyes sleepily.

He woke in the main room, curled comfortably on the large half circle, black couch to see Starfire floating happily around the tree, placing lights around the branches at the top. Raven sat on the floor covered in packaging foam with an annoyed look on her face, and Cyborg finished twisting the lights around the tree at the bottom. But Robin was nowhere in sight. Frowning, Beast boy sat up and the warm blanket that had been covering him fell off to a heap around his waist.

"Oh! Beast boy, you are awake!" Starfire smiled from behind the tree, Christmas lights tangles all over and around her.

"Uh, Star, the lights go on the tree, you do know that right?"

"Yes Beast boy!"

"Um, alright," Beast boy said, watching as Starfire floated happily in circles, tangling herself even more in the wires. It seemed though, that Starfire didn't notice this and by the time she finished, Raven would have to help her untangle herself. His worries though left as a steaming mug of hot coco was placed in front of his face.

"Here," Robin's voice said quietly, sitting down next to the still sleepy shape-shifter. Beast boy smiled and took the mug, enjoying the warmth that it sent through his body. He went back to watching Raven, Starfire, and Cyborg decorate the tree, waking up completely. His ears twitched at the soft tone of a women's voice reaching a high note in the background. Christmas music, so much of it was the same and yet it never seemed to get old. No matter how many times you've heard it being re-song by different singers.

"How's your arm?" Robin asked peering at Beast boy from over his cup, his eyes once again hidden under the trademark mask. Beast boy gave Robin a little smile and wished that he hadn't put the mask back on.

"A little sore, but good, sorry bout dragging you down with me,"

But Robin shook his head and reached out, stroking Beast boy's cheek with his bare hands, gloves gone somewhere. Beast boy blushed as Starfire gushed and squealed from behind the tree. Robin though ignored her and probably had rolled his eyes, but Beast boy couldn't tell.

"Something came up?" Beast boy asked as he noted Robin's uniform was on. Robin nodded and through a small disk at Beast boy, who caught it with difficulty. He didn't want to spill his coco.

"Ruby showed up at the town square, baring a gift. Surprisingly though, we got her pretty quickly and she's locked up in a jail cell somewhere right now. I thought it was going to be a lot harder then that to get her put away."

Beast boy's ears dropped a bit as he remembered memories from the past. He flipped the disk around to look at the back. It was the disk that Ruby always had on the front of her belt; Nicolas had given it to her to help control the powers that she mutated into.

"That's good, sorry I was sleeping…"

"That's ok, you still need to catch up on your sleep."

"Yeah, but…I haven't been part of the team lately,"

"Don't sweat it ok?" and Robin scooted closer, bringing Beast boy close to him. The younger male snuggled close, resting his head comfortably on Robin's chest, curled around the teen's body, keeping his mug of coco close to his chest. Robin smiled and ran his fingers threw Beast boys' soft, thick hair with the arm that was around the changeling's shoulders.

They stayed like that for a bit until Starfire's constant glancing and giggling annoyed both Robin and Beast boy.

"I'm taking a shower, be down in a bit, don't start the fun without me," Robin said, untangling himself from Beast boy, giving the shape-shifter a quick kiss on the temple before heading out.

And then Starfire was all over Beast boy. He had nowhere to run, he was trapped.

"Friend! Please, do share,"

"Er…a-about what?" Beast boy asked, sinking into the couch as far as possible as Starfire was quickly closing the gap between his personal space and hers.

"Yeah, please, share your love life with us," Raven said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, from the floor, now sorting the boxes of ornaments that were out and spread all over the floor. Cyborg gave Raven a look of pure horror.

"T-there's nothing to tell." Beast boy squeaked, looking around Starfire at Cyborg for help.

"Hey, man, don't look at me. I'm not getting in the way of Star,"

And Beast boy whimpered, god did he wish for Robin to hurry the hell up.

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Robin walked smoothly into the main room, his hair wet and hanging around his face, his uniform tucked nicely away and replaced with his black pajama pants and a black long sleeved button down shirt that wasn't all the way buttoned up. His mask was sitting comfortably on his dresser; waiting to be placed back over his eyes, but would be waiting for a long time. Robin didn't plan on going out on any missions any time soon.

However, he may have a mission in the tower itself. As the doors shut close behind him, Robin wondered why he left Beast boy alone in the room the Starfire. She had been giving them excited looks and giggling all day, it wasn't safe around her, not alone.

And Beast boy had fallen into her web. She was currently chatting at the speed of light as Beast boy took out what looked like to be a fourth batch of Christmas cookies. The poor teen had his ears dropped and was flinching every time Starfire would take a deep breath to start talking again.

Robin couldn't understand half of what she was saying, but he got the hint for his name was mentioned a lot along with boyfriend and going out. And a lot of the talking seemed to be questions, but Starfire was going so fast that all Beast boy could do was stare at her with a frightened look in his bright green eyes.

Robin sighed and calming headed for the small kitchen area, keeping an eye on Raven and Cyborg, who were in the middle of trying to untangle the tinsel that Starfire had apparently blasted apart earlier. Coming up behind Starfire, Robin cleared his throat and smiled at the relief that washed over Beast boy's face.

"Excuse me Starfire," and Robin pushed past her, wrapping his arms around Beast boy's thin waist and pulling him close, nibbling on a green pointed ear. Beast boy smiled and encircled his arms around Robin's neck, purring as he leaded into Robin.

Starfire squealed again and spun in circles, giggling.

"Star, maybe you should sit down for awhile,"

"Yeah, you're giving yourself a blood rush," Raven agreed with Cyborg and levitated Starfire over to the couch and dropped her onto the soft cushions. And with some pouting and a last giggle, Starfire agreed to calm down.

And that started the whole adventure of decorating the Christmas tree. With the lights and tinsel up and sparkling, the only thing left was the ornaments. So, the titans gathered around the tree and went to work. It took longer then expected, but that was perhaps because Cyborg, Robin and Beast boy had started a cookie fight with the cookie's Beast boy had made early. And after that, Starfire wouldn't let them continue decorating without more cookies to be baked for 'Santa Clause.' And no matter how much they tried to tell her that he wasn't real, Starfire just wouldn't believe it. So in the end, Raven and Cyborg worked together to make four more batches of cookies while Starfire, Beast boy and Robin finished up the tree.

And just when they thought they were almost done, Silky had decided to eat half the Christmas lights hanging on the tree. With great difficulty and many mishaps, Cyborg managed to put on the extra lights without removing any tinsel or ornaments, with Raven's help of course.

It was around 10:30 when the tree was finally done and the titans all lay around on the floor in a heap, ready for sleep. So, with Raven the first to bid everyone a good night and a merry Christmas, the others began to get back up and clean. Starfire hurriedly stuffed al the packaging foam back in the boxes and was soon flying to her room at top speed, excited for tomorrow morning. Cyborg checked the lighting systems and the defense systems as well. He didn't want anyone to ruin their Christmas and Christmas Eve. So the oldest titan wished Beast boy and Robin sweet dreams with a huge yawn and a roll of his eyes.

By the time the kitchen was cleaned up and the cookies put away for tomorrow, it was 11:45 and another new wave of snow was falling on the ground. The Christmas tree stood tall and glowing warmly, reflecting off the large windows that over looked the city that sparkled with lights and snow in the night. Robin glanced around for Beast boy as he finished putting away the clean dishes and he found his little lover curled up on the couch, holding something in his hands.

Quietly, Robin headed over; making sure that Beast boy wasn't asleep before speaking,

"Hey, you should head up, it's getting late,"

"Shouldn't you be going to bed too?"

Robin smirked and slid down next to Beast boy, pulling the boy into his lap and nuzzling his cheek. Beast boy blushed and leaded away form Robin, embarrassed.

"Robin?"

"Hmm?"

"I…I'm sorry,"

Robin gave him a confused look, his blue eyes shinning brightly in the glow of the Christmas tree, "What for?"

"For everything. I've been so off lately, and with Ruby and Nicolas and…" Beast boy looked up at Robin, tears lingering in his eyes. He couldn't believe that Robin had taken him back so fast. Especially when he himself had been wrong. Wrong that Robin didn't care, wrong that Robin put everything before him.

"Don't be, everyone gets a little out of character every now and then," Robin whispered, playing with Beast boy's hair that hung over his ears.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you…before, I…I didn't want us to stop…I just,"

"It's ok, I know. You don't have to be sorry, everything's good now,"

"Yeah," and Beast boy laid his head down on Robin's chest. Both Robin and Beast boy stayed quiet for a bit, enjoying each other's touch and embrace. Robin though kept wondering what the box in Beast boy's hands was.

"What's that?" he asked and he felt Best boy jump at his voice. Robin chuckled and rubbed the back of Best boy's neck, calming him. Blushing Beast boy sat up so he could see Robin better and handed him the box,

"I-it's for you,"

"It's not Christmas yet," Robin said, looking at the clock that read 11:55.

"That's ok, I want you to open it now,"

Robin raised a dark eyebrow at Beast boy and tore a little at the wrapping paper,

"You're so corny you know," he said and Beast boy blushed, ducking his head a little.

Robin smiled and finished unwrapping the gift. Though the smile disappeared as a photograph stared back at him. His parents smiling at the camera, with Robin on his Dad's shoulders, barely older then the age of five. Under neither the photo laid a book that Robin recognized. His father used to read him a child version of it when he was little. It was something that Robin always remembered about his father. His father said that Robin could read the real thing when he was older; he was too young to understand half the book back then. But Robin never got the chance to read it because his parent's death and he just, forgot, locked it away with the pain.

Looking up with watered eyes Robin leaned his temple against Beast boy's, an unsure emotion swirling in the changeling's green eyes.

"Where?"

"I-I…called in a favor,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, in Gothem,"

Robin smiled and pressed, a little rushed into Beast boy, kissing the younger male's lips for the first time in months. Beast boy, a little shaky, reached up with trembling hands and slid them into Robin's un-spiked hair. Robin made a small sound and slipped his tongue past Beast boy's lips, pushing against Beast boy's smaller frame until Beast boy fell onto his back, Robin on top of him.

Robin's tears had leaked through his closed eyelids and streamed down his face. His hands clutched tightly to Beast boy's face, holding his jaw firmly. He kissed him hard and sweet and passionate and gentle all at once. Tasting Beast boy, running his tongue along Beast boy's teeth, chuckling at the feel of the changeling's small fangs. He swirled his tongue with Beast boy's battling him to win dominance.

Robin hadn't felt this good in months, he missed Beast boy's warm touch, the boy's trembling body. The way he would make him feel so hot and cold at the same time. The way his mouth drove him wild. His warm, hot tongue brushing against his tenderly, timid most times. The way Beast boy would whimper when he left marks on his neck and shoulders. His loud moans when things got farther then Beast boy had expected.

It was the first time in a long time that Robin felt at home, that he felt safe, that he felt loved. The first time in a _very_ long time, since his parents died. Robin felt, at peace.

With the need for air, Robin pulled back slightly, breathing deep and smiled at Beast boy who was trembling and flushed under him. Sliding his hands up to brush Beast boy's hair from his temple. Robin leaned down and placed a tender, short kiss on Beast boy's lips,

"Thank you,"

Beast boy smiled and let his slender hands fall out of Robin's dark locks and enclose around his leader's neck. Pulling himself up off the couch and pressed against Robin, Beast boy nuzzled Robin's face,

"I love you,"

It was quiet in the warm, glowing main room. The crisp feeling of holidays, winter and snow hung in the air. The warm sent of cinnamon and sugar floated around and the soft melodies in the background soothed their ears. And even though Beast boy's whisper had been quiet, Robin still heard him.

"I love you too," he whispered and brushed his lips against Beast boy's. The boy below him sighed happily and intertwined his legs with Robin's as the clock rang out that midnight was now upon them.

"Merry Christmas," Beast boy whispered, his eyes glancing quickly to Robin's lips and then back up to his blue eyes.

Chuckling Robin pressed his lips against Beast boy's and murmured,

"Merry Christmas BB,"

And for the both of them, it was the end of their bleeding sacrifice's and the start of a new beginning.

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OWARI!

Oh, sadness,I'm going to miss working on this story so much! Please tell me what you think and I thank you so very much for reading. I might do a sequal to this story, if you think it is a good idea, please let me know! I am more then willing to if you guys want one!

THANKS!

and once agian, please review... :)


	11. Sequel: The Lost Future

Hello all! Well, I've had a nice long break from writing and with the holidays I think it's time I start up again yes? I will have to admit though, that the sequel will not be updated as fast as the first story was. I have less time now, so sad, however, I will try my best between holiday shopping and school! I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as the first! Thank you so very much or the support it makes me very happy to see that others enjoy the same things as I do (and other people of course:) )

The sequel will be attacthed to the story so yeah, I hope that doesn't bother anyone.

Also, I have to warn you that this may become an even darker fic then the first one (if that was even dark at all...??) and there may also not be a happy ending, but I have not yet choosen that...lol! I would slo like to apologize ahead of time for an typos or grammer errors, which I am sure many of you have noticed. Try to bear with me on that one ladies and gents! So with that said, this is a YAOI story. If you do not like, please do not read. Same paring as before, RobinxBB and I add a new one, which I personaly don't think would ever at all happen, but hey I thought, why not give it a try. and that is I have put Starfire with...dun dun dun...Aqualad! Yay! But enough rambling from me! Please R&R! Lots of Love and everyone have a WONDERFUL Holiday!

Summery: Robin starts to consider becoming Night Wing and the Titans are in danger of breaking up. But what's this? A new threat is creeping in the shadows. Will beast boy and Robin be able to handle it this time? Or will it break apart the Titans forever?

ENJOY:)

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Bleeding Sacrifice: Sequel: The Lost Future 

It's been three years since that Christmas. Everything has changed and yet…it hasn't. Robin's been talking about taking up that whole Night Wing thing that Starfire had told us about long ago. Raven's starting to disappear more and more, not really open anymore. Cyborg's been trying to remodel his technology, the more time passes, the more he has to upgrade. It seems, that society is finally catching up to him and in a big boom as well. Starfire has out grown her old love, crush, whatever she had for Robin. Infact, who would have guessed this one but, her and Aqualad hooked up last year and don't seem to have any problems.

Actually, I over heard Bumblebee talking to Speedy about them. It would also seem that Aqualad might tie the knot, seeing as most of us are young adults now.

But what about me? Nothing, I'm still the same. Sure, I'm older and more "wiser" but really, the older I get the less I can do. I'm not like Robin or Cyborg. I don't have the will to keep going forever. I'm not like Raven or Starfire. I won't be able to be strong forever. And well, I have to face it, the end had come sooner then I thought it would have.

That's right, I said had, as in, it already happened.

It was only a few weeks ago that I lost all will to keep going. Only Robin now tries to keep me going, but of course he would. I love him and he loves me, but that's not the point.

It started last year. Only one year of peace and quiet from the tragic battle days (as Cyborg likes to refer to them).And then a new wave hit. But this time, it wasn't me who was the prize. Instead, they wanted the boy wonder, my Robin.

It was a little after autumn had started when the shadows began to whisper Robin's name. And I really mean whisper. He would wake up in a cold sweat, trembling and scared of the dark. He slept in my room with me for months, the lights on. He never went out by himself, at least, not late at night. He said that they were always talking to him. From within the shadows.

I began to be afraid for him. He would wake with bruises that he caused on his own. He was losing sleep and losing himself in workouts and battles. Slowly, I felt him slipping away from him. So, naturally, I wanted to end whatever was doing this to him.

So, me still being not the smartness person in the world, decided to well...talk back to the whispers that he heard. At first I was like "what the hell" because I didn't know what I was doing. So, one night I tried just sitting outside on the rocks, listening for anything odd. I didn't hear anything…nothing at all. But I knew Robin wasn't making it up. He wouldn't do that.

So then, the next night I started talking aloud on the rocks. I talked about what had happened the year before. About my dark past and the beast inside me. And still, nothing happened. I did that for weeks and the weeks turned into months. And robin was getting worse.

So finally, I went to Raven. I asked her if it were possible to…hear things.

"Things like what?" she had asked me back, not looking up from the book she had been reading then.

I had stood there awkwardly and rubbed the back of my calf with my foot, mumbling as I lowered my head. At first I thought she hadn't heard my answer. But she finally looked over her shoulder at me, a dark look in her eyes.

"Beast boy, you're not kidding?"

I had shaken my head at her. Why would I have been kidding about something like that?

"Are you hearing voices?" she asked me and I had shook my head again.

"Then who is?"

"Robin…"

She frowned then and told me,

"Then let him ask me for help."

But I wasn't going to let that happen. Because, it I didn't do something, then Robin would try to handle it on his own until it was too late to ask for help.

"Raven, please, he won't ask for help. If I don't do something, he could get hurt."

She had stared at me for the longest time then. I didn't know if she was going to kick me out, or help me…or kill me! But then a light in her eyes shone, if only for a moment, and that light told me that she would always help me, no matter what.

She stood and blew out the candle that lit her room, until we were in utter darkness. She led me to the middle of the floor and had me sit down, crisscross, across from her. She had me hold out my hands, palms up and she placed her slender fingers on top of mine.

"Beast boy," she said, her voice barely a whisper, "this is serious. What ever is…talking to Robin, it could be hostile. When you start to get into ouch with hostile ghosts, spirits, whatever this in this, then someone could get hurt."

"Ok…" I whispered back, suddenly afraid of what I was getting into.

"Alright, have you tried contacting them before?"

I frowned and I had glanced down at our hands.

"Well, Robin says that they are everywhere, in the shadows, all the time."

"Ok…"

"So, for the past couple of months, I've been going down to the rocks and just talking."

Raven had tensed at my words then. After our little "session" she told me that talking to them without being able to hear them back was a bad idea. That they could get attached to me if I told them dark things about me. And had…that's all I had told them. But that was afterwards, right then, I was just ready to get Robin help.

"Ok, well see what happens then."

And after that, I didn't understand anything. She murmured in Roman and Latin for the longest time. And each time, I though I heard someone else whisper with her. By the time an hour had passed by I knew for sure that I was hearing voices. It wasn't pleasant though. They were cold and whispery sounding. Some cried out for help, some laughed in cold blood. Others just talked and some just made moaning sounds.

I sat there with Raven for three hours and when she was done murmuring, the candles flickered back on.

She sat in front of me, staring hard into my eyes, her face and body half in shadow, half in light.

"There is no turning back now Beast boy."

I nodded slowly at her.

She stood then and walked over to her dresser, but I kept staring at the spot she had just been sitting at. In her place, was some sort of…mist like object that replaced the shadow. It sparkled and glittered in the candlelight. But the minute the light shone on it, it disappeared.

"Here," and Raven handed me a small jem that was hanging from a thin silver chain.

"What's this for?" I had asked, looking up at her.

And just then she had looked so, demonic, so very mysterious and gothic that I clutched tight to the jem in my palm. I had never seen look like that, half hidden by her hood, half her face in demonic shadow, the other in gothic angelic light. And when she whispered, I felt chills run through out my entire body, it was a whisper that would have made the dead shiver in fear.

"For protection…"

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WOOT!! FIRST PART OF SEQUEL DONE! LOL! Well, come now, don't be shy, what did you guys think? Thank you so very much for reading and please review, I will try to get up the next chapter soon!

Next Chapter: Just what did Raven mean? What would Beast boy need protection from? And did he really help Robin through the year? and What happened to make Beast boy give up? Somthing between the past and preasent...or maybe, perhaps eve the future?

UNTILL NEXT TIME:)


	12. Sequel, Chapter 2 Whispering Shadows

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So, it's been like....two years. Were the hell have I been? Ha ha uh...Super busy with school, and I'm not joking. Plus...I kind of got sucked into Avatar the last air bender...so a little bit of the time has gone because of that. But, I give you another chapter, it's short, sorry, hopefuly I won't leave the next for 2011. lol!! Well, thanks to everyone who has been keeping up with the story and I'm sorry I've been letting you hang on if you have been, but I aprecate it.

So, enjoy and please review!!

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Ch. 2-Whispering shadows.

After what Raven told me, I wore the chain all the time, and kept an eye on Robin as well. I began hearing things…all the time and I listened, careful not to answer back, remembering what Raven had told me, though, I fear it may be too late. I already told these…voices, a lot of things about me…dark things anyway. But if I thought things were bad then, with the team being on verge of breaking down, I was so very, very wrong. It was only the beginning and I had dragged myself into something far darker then the beast within. Something worse then Ruby and Nicolas…something worse then Raven's own father.

And there was nothing I could have done to stop it….

_1 year ago…_

"Hey, BB!"

I glanced up as Cyborg called out to me from down the hallway.

"Man, I was yellin' at ya for a while. You ok?"

I nodded, I hadn't heard him no…I had just heard something like a soft, cold giggle, from behind me and I had froze on the spot, fear running in my blood. I felt bad, knowing what was going on with Robin…that he was hearing these voices all the time. It frightens me, but Robin…my brave Robin. At least, he's brave until nightfall. It's the worst at night; they get into your dreams…drive you insane, unless there's someone else with you…someone who loves you.

I wasn't sure he was telling the truth until after I went to Raven and now, well I kind of wished I hadn't. Whatever these things are, they're starting to come after me too. Before I could hear them whispering to Robin and Robin alone, but now, I'm starting to hear my name in their giggles and laughs.

That's what it was for the most part, laughing, at least during the day. At night they would start muttering in old tongues, sometimes in English, but rarely. And yet somehow I would always be able to understand them. Whatever they were saying, it was obvious not friendly.

"BB!"

I jumped; right I was talking to Cyborg.

"What's up man?" I asked, trying to shake the shiver after the small cold giggle behind me echoed in the hallway.

"You ok? You're spacing out more then usual."

I chuckled and nodded.

"I'm fine, Cy."

"Well in that cause, come down to the main room will ya? Robin's picked up on something."

I smirked at him and the two of us headed down the hallway. But I couldn't help but glance behind me into the darkness as I heard another high giggle. And just as we turned the corner, I could have sworn I saw a small, demon like figure staring back at me, it's eyes dead and glowing.

That's it, it's time I talk to Robin and Raven about this. If these things were starting to show themselves, then they were getting stronger and possibly more dangerous, whatever they were.

As Cyborg and I entered the main room, Robin was already briefing the others on the event. He glanced up at me and I could see through his mask, the light hitting him just the right way. He looked uncertain, and I knew then that he had seen one of the shadow things as well. I nodded at him and sat down, not taking my eyes away from him.

It didn't take long for the briefing to end and it had to be the strangest on I've heard yet. Sure, I've seen some weird things, but nothing like this. There had been four murders, all at the same time, at opposite places in the city. But whatever did kill, it wasn't human. The murdered victims bodies were poked at and cut up. Eyes were missing, hearts were gone, and each left lung was ripped out and placed on their beds.

After the first few pictures, Starfire rushed out to clam her nerves and Robin shut it off, telling us that we got the picture.

"I'll go get the car warmed up." Cyborg stated and stood, Raven fallowing him, leaving Robin and me alone.

The second the doors slid shut his shoulders sagged and he sighed. I frowned; he always looked so sad and tired now. I walked up to him and reached for his mask, gently removing it to see his beautiful eyes. Running a hand up to his hair I whispered quietly,

"You ok?"

He looks at me with such a weird feeling that I can't quite place it.

"I can see them now." He whispered and leaned against him, dropping his body on mine for support. As his arms went around my waist I linked my hands together behind his neck, placing soft kisses on his cheeks and jaw.

"Me too, I think we should tell Raven."

I felt him nod on my shoulder and then I felt his soft tongue lick my neck. I sighed but let him pull me closer to him. Robin's been on a sex craze lately and I don't if it's because he's worried about what was happening to him, or because he was just horny. It could have been both, but right now wasn't the best place to screw around.

"God, I need you, Gar."

Obviously Robin didn't think so. I let him kiss his way to my mouth and enjoy the rough, loving kiss, his tongue battling against mine, but I didn't let him continue as he pulled away for air.

"Not now, later, when we get back."

He growled and thrust his hips against mine, making me moan, but I held my ground and glared up at him through my hair.

"When we get back, I promise."

He smiled down at me and licked my cheek, squishing me tight before letting go.

"Alright, love you."

I smiled at him and mutter the feeling back and we both headed out to the car.

It wasn't until evening did we get back. We were sent around the city in a mad rush, trying to get this…thing that murdered those four people. We had no luck what so ever and it wasn't until Cyborg announced that his battery was running low did we retreat back to the tower. During the car ride I watched Robin in the front seat, he looked tired and I wondered if he remembered my promise before we left.

If he wasn't tired, then everyone else sure was. Raven was drifting and Starfire was long out and well, Cyborg was running low on energy, but he was driving. Myself I was dead tired. My legs were killing me and my lungs burned like a bitch. And to top it all off, I kept seeing small shadows moving around outside the car and hearing quite giggles, calling for me and Robin.

At first, it was the most frightening experience I had ever had, but you get used to it. Funny really, you don't think you would, but you do. They start to become like everyday people. During the day, I can ignore them for the most part, but now that they are starting to show themselves, the fear is starting all over again.

When we get back Starfire and Raven float slowly to their rooms and Cyborg bids us a good nights rest as he turns on the security systems. I follow Robin to his room, mine being after his down the hallway, but he stops me in the dark hallway, and quite roughly too.

I groan when he shoves me against the way, his lips hard and fast on mine, his hips rolling against me, his hands grabbing anywhere he can get. I'm only remotely aware of him sliding his door open and pushing me inside. He pushed me down onto his bed and climbs on top of me, pulling my suit off my shoulders and pushing my pants down my legs. His passion fired up mine and I reach for his shirt and rip his clothing off just as fast as he does mine.

No sooner then I do, he is on top of me again, his lips on my skin, his hands between my legs. He's getting me to the point of begging and I arch into him as he bites at my collar bone.

"R-Robin…" I mutter into his ear as he slides his hands down my legs and lifts them up to rest on his hips.

He pulls back from me and looks into my eyes, he can feel my legs shaking.

"You ok," he asks and I nod, "too much running for one day huh?" he asks again as he leans down, this time giving me a slow gentle kiss.

I sigh into his mouth and clutch at his arms, not letting his tongue leave my mouth when he starts to pull back. He chuckles as I try to keep him were he is, but he slides his hands to my inner thighs and slowly brings them up, making me gasp and free his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I didn't notice that you were so whipped. You should have told me, I would have been gentle from the start."

I smile up at him and kiss his lips lightly. Robin's like that. He prefers to have fast rough sex, multiple times in a row. I don't mind, I like it like that as well, but he knows I love it when he's slow and gentle. When I'm in pain or tired, he's never rough, knowing that I won't be able to keep up with his satisfactions. Infact, Robin always makes sure that I'm ok with it, always.

I reach up, pulling his mask off his eyes.

I hate when I can't see his eyes. As I look into them, his passion shines bright and I'm sure for the next hour or so I'm going to be even more tired then I am now. When he leans down and pulls me into a hot kiss, my mind goes blank and all I can think and feel is him and his need, until he himself collapses, spent, cuddling into my neck and placing soft kisses against my skin.

"I love you."

I smile up at him and run my fingers through his sweat soaked hair,

"I love you too."

I continue running my fingers through his hair as he falls asleep, resting against my chest. I glance up at the ceiling as I feel his breathing even out. However, my own speeds up as I stare into the glowing eyes of a slimy, demon type shadow creature. It hisses and a coldness sweeps across the room, my breath and Robin's, coming out in small puffs. I watch as it smiles and crawls toward the wall. I can feel panic arising in my chest and I want to get out of Robin's room, I need to, but I can't. I don't move as it starts crawling down the wall, leaving what looks like bloodstains behind it, a slick trail.

I can barely breath as it reaches the floor, crawling closer and a foul stench fills the air, making me gag, I can feel myself shaking and I'm amazed that I haven't woken Robin yet. I moved to wake Robin, but my voice chokes in my throat, and tears threaten to spill from my eyes. As it crawls to the bed, I can see its long, thin shadow like fingers reach for Robin and I cry out this time. But before it can even reach him, a shinning glow flashed across the room in less then a second and then, it's gone.

I breathe heavily, shaken to my soul, only thinking that the stone Raven had given me was the only thing that could have saved Robin and possibly me. I glance down at the small, diamond shape stone, grateful that Raven had given it too me. But I doubted that it would protect me forever.

Robin stirs and lets his eyes flutter open. He can feel my body trembling and he pulls away from me, leaning over my smaller forum.

"What's wrong BB?" he asked, nuzzling me before licking away a fallen tear.

I shook my head, knowing that he'll leave it alone and let m tell him when I can.

"Bullshit, tell me."

Or maybe he'd be pushy and I'd have to tell him. I really didn't want to though, afraid that he would get freaked. I glanced at his alarm clock and noticed that an hour had passed since 'we' fell asleep. It was better if I lied now and told him the truth later, no matter how mad he may get.

"Nightmare…" I muttered and his face softened.

Before I knew it he had me in his lap and was running his fingers through my hair, gently nibbling on my ear every so often. I sigh and cuddle against him, trying to get the shadow creature out of my head. As he began to nip at my jaw line and gently rub my back my thoughts soon disappeared into nothing. He always knows how to calm me, no matter what it was.

And as he laid us down, my head cuddled on his shoulder, my face hidden in his neck, I began to fall sleep, hoping that he too would fall into a slumber before something else appeared.

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Yeah, so that was chapter 2 of the squeal, sorry it's so short guys!!! Please tell me what you think!


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